Maximum Ride meets Purple Tractors
by ThunderClouds7
Summary: Chaos irrupts when Maximum Ride meets Purple Tractors and Angel becomes leader! RANDOMNESS!
1. Chapter 1 Vote Angel for Flock Leader!

Maximum Ride meets Purple Tractor Driving Talking Chickens from Outer Space who Ride Motorcycles

**Yo!!! I'm Enia, one of the three people who share thunderclap07. This is my first fanfic, so I hope you like it.**

**Samik: Hi, I'm Samik, I'm the elf who lives inside Enia's head.**

**Me: Yeah, um… I don't think you want to know what he's talking about.**

**Disclaimer: Do I really need to do this? Everybody know's James Patterson owns Maximum Ride. So, I don't, although I do own Samik so, yeah.**

**Samik: Hey! You don't own me! I own myself!**

**Me: Shut up.**

Chapter One

Vote Angel for Leader!

Angel POV

I glared at Max, my arms crossed, "Yes."

Max sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, "Angel, I said no."

"Yes," I pushed the thought at Max's brain, but, after living with me for so long, she had an annoying resistance to it.

"Stop trying to influence me, Angel, you know its not going to work!"

I ignored her and pushed harder

"Dammit Angel! I said no!"

There was a loud thump on the door. It was a sleep-deprived Iggy trying to figure out what was going on. Max glanced at the door and started moving towards it to help Iggy. That was all the distraction I needed. I shoved the thought at her mind and she froze, her face twitching as she tried to ignore me, "ANGEL!!!" she finally screamed, so loud that the ceiling shook and there were a series of loud thuds upstairs. The rest of the flock had been shaken out of their beds.

Iggy managed to shove the door open, "What the hell is going on?!"

"Angel is trying to… convince me that she should be leader," Max answered through gritted teeth.

"By convince you mean, influence your mind?"

"Yeah."

Iggy turned to try and glare at me but he ended up glaring at a spot a couple of feet above my left shoulder.

I pouted a bit, "I wanna be leader," I said as I pushed the thought at his mind, knowing that it wouldn't be quite as well protected as Max's. Max was strong.

His face went blank so I pushed harder, knowing he was about to break, then he turned to Max and said, "Max, I think Angel should be leader."

Max glared at him even though the look was lost, "No."

Nudge, Gazzy, and Fang came in to the kitchen, "What's going on? Why is Max yelling? Was she the one who made the house shake? How'd she do that?"

Max held up her hand, "Nudge."

"Right, sorry."

"I'm trying to convince Max that I should be leader," I said as I shoved the thought into their minds. Fang's mind automatically rejected it and he glared at me but it stayed wheedled into Nudge and the Gasman's mind.

"I agree with Angel," Iggy put in, "She could get us whatever we want with her mind control powers and convince fish to become suicidal and –"

"ZOMG!" Nudge interrupted, "That would be, like, so awesome! She could get us awesome shoes 'cause, like, _majorly _need new shoes! Mind are, like, _so_ last year! And then she could get us into fancy restaurants and everything would be free 'cause everybody would think we had already paid and we would never have to dumpster-dive again! Or, like, steal anything!"

by the time Nudge was finished Max was practically shooting daggers out of her eyes and I was grinning like the evil little six-year-old maniac that I am.

"Yeah," Gazzy agreed, "And me an' Iggy could blow stuff up and not get in trouble!"

I turned to Max, "Well Max, it looks like you've been out-voted."

"This isn't a democracy! This is a Maxocracy!"

nudge, Gazzy, Iggy and I turned to glare at her as Fang moved to stand next to her, "You. Are. Out-voted," I snarled. I shoved the 'Angel for Leader' thought at her again and her teeth gritted. I shoved harder while I suggested to Gazzy and Iggy that they should go blow something up to distract Max and they eagerly left. Five seconds later the entire house – and possibly the mountain it was sitting on – shook like there was an earthquake.

Max stumbled and I shoved even hared at her mind and finally broke through. Her eyes glazed over and she said, "Angel is leader," as the tremors stopped.

Gazzy and Iggy bounded back in, grinning, "Yeah! That was awesome!" Gazzy crowed. He and Iggy high-fived.

"So, did it work," Iggy asked, "Did Max agree?"

"Yep," I answered, "She gave me the okay. I am now leader.

Max snapped out of her daze, "Wait, what?"

"You just made Angel leader," Fang told her."

Max glared at me, "No, I didn't."

"Yes you did," I said happily, like a little kid who had just gotten the best birthday present ever.

"No, I didn't."

"Yup, you did."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

Before Max could snap back another 'No' Fang said, "Actually, you did. Gazzy and Iggy blew something up to distract you and it worked."

"Well, I'm taking back what I said! I'm still leader."

"You can't do that."

Max opened her mouth to reply but before she could…**BOOM!!!!!**

**Me: I love ending in cliff-hangers, don't you Samik?**

**Samik: Yup, it rules.**

**Me: Yeah, I know, hey, if you liked this why don't you send me a review and check out Purple Tractors. It's my book type thing.**


	2. Chapter 2 Who the hell are you?

**Me: Hiyas! Enia again!**

**Samik: Hey! Don't forget me!**

**Me: Oh, right. Samik's here too. Ok! So, in this chapter there are going to be some characters I actually own - not Max Ride! - so if you wanna use them - I don't know why you would but... you do. Okay! Here we go!**

Max POV

"Ow! What the hell was that for?!"

"No!"

"Get away from me!"

"DIE!!!"

The shouts came from outside. We all looked at Gazzy and Iggy thinking that they had rigged some kind of delayed time-bomb thing. They shrugged.

Angel stepped forward, "Alright flock, let's go out and see what's going on."

I glared at her, even though I absolutely _adore_ Angel, she's still a pain in the ass sometimes.

Fang stepped up and touched my arm gently, "Let it go for now. We can talk about this later. These could be Erasers or Flyboys or M-geeks-dumbots."

"They can't be Erasers or Flyboys, we know those all got destroyed and we haven't seen the M-geeks in months."

**Me: Forgot to mention! This takes place a couple of months after Max.**

**Samik: Gosh Enia, you should remember these things.**

**Me: Shut up.**

"Alright guys," Angel said, stepping forward and clapping her hands to get everybody's attention, "We're gonna go survey the scene from the roof."

I raised my hand, "Why don't we just look out the window?"

Angel glared at me, "Because I'm the leader and I said so."

"Ow! Leave me alone, fool!"

"What did you call me?!"

More shouts came from outside, "Come on, Fang," I said, "Let's go see what's going on." And I walked out the front door.

Outside was mass chaos. There were three humans and one human-sized chicken. One of the humans - a male with brown gold-flecked hair - was flying around on something that looked like a board made out of fire shooting fire balls at the chicken who was fighting a red-haired female who was defending herself with what looked like water. The third male was chucking purple balls of something at the chicken.

I looked at Fang who was watching the scene with raised eyebrows, "Who are they?"

"Dunno. Let's go ask."

I shrugged, "Okay."

We ran forward at the same time that Angel, Nudge, Gazzy and Iggy leapt from the roof to dive-bomb the strangers. The male with the fire noticed us first, "Woah!" he yelled, "Flying humans! Cool!" The others glanced at us just as I bowled into the chicken. Wow, his feathers were actually soft. We fell to the ground with a thump and I jumped off him and into the air, my wings working powerfully to get out of range.

I glanced around to see what the rest of the flock was doing. Angel was trying to mind-control the brown-haired male, it didn't look like it was working, he was ignoring her. Nudge was circling the female who was watching her warily and Gazzy and Iggy were fighting the black-haired male. Fang was standing with one foot on the chicken's chest.

"Guys!" I yelled, "Lay off, let's find out who these guys are."

They broke off to join me and the three other humans grouped togther and stared at us. The chicken stood off to one side, glaring at everybody.

"Who are you?" I asked.

"I'm Teemo," the brown-haired male said, he pointed at the female, "That's Arin and that one's Fred," he pointed at the male with black hair, "The chicken's Darrel T. Mutantchicken."

"I'm perfectly capable of introducing myself," the chicken snarled.

The boy - Teemo - stuck his tounge out at him "Yeah, whatever."

"So what are you guys?" the female asked, "Are you elves, faeries, pixies?"

"They're probably faeries," Teemo said.

"But don't faeries have, like, butterfly type wings? These guy's are like bird's," Fred asked.

I glanced at Fang, "These guys are crazy," I mouthed. He nodded.

"Umm... we aren't, whatever you guys are talking about," I said, "We're just humans."

"Then where'd you get the wings?" Teemo asked, puzzled.

"Geez, where've you guys been? Under a rock? We've been all over the news."

"Oh... uh... we've been... somewhere pretty remote."

I rolled my eyes, "Like where, under a rock?"

"No."

"We're human-avian mutants who have saved the world many times over."

"Oh, that's cool."

"What are you?" Nudge asked, "Are you mutants too? That was, like, so cool how you, like, flew on a board of fire, and you, like, hurt him with water and you shoot purple stuff. Why is it purple? I would make mine pink. Why are you a chicken? What does the 'T' in your name stand for?"

I covered her mouth with my hand, "Sorry."

"That's fine. I do that to sometimes. Me and Arin are elves. Fred's something called a Monstro, that's like a super awesome human with super awesome powers. Darrel's from outer space."

I looked at him skeptically, "If you're an elf shouldn't you be, like, super short and making toys or something?"

He and Arin stiffened and he started ranting, "Stupid human stereotypes. Stupid Christmas myths, ruining the name 'elf' they don't know what the hell they're talking about," he paused to take a breath.

Arin tried to cut in, "Teemo-"

"Who came up with that stereotype? I'll find him - her - and beat some sense into 'em -"

"TEEMO!"

He broke off mid-sentence, "What?"

"Calm down."

"Right, sorry."

Fang looked around, "Hey, where'd that chicken guy go?"

The "elves" glanced around, "Ah f***," Teemo muttered, "This isn't good."

"Why?" Gazzy asked.

"Well, besides the fact that he's trying to take over the world, he's mentally unstable."

"That's not good."

"No it is not, so, we'd better go find him. Bye!" he and his friends turned and raced into the woods.

"Do you think we'll see them again?" Nudge asked.

"I'm sure of it," I answered.

I became aware of the fact that Angel was glaring at me, "What?"

"I'm not very happy with you undermining my authority.:

"Angel, sweetie, you're not leader."

Total trotted out of the house, jumped into Angel's arms and licked her face, "What'd I miss?"

"Oh just some people who thought they were elves and a mentally unstable chicken from outer space."

"So, nothing much?"

"Basically."

"I'm hungry," Nudge complained.

I smiled, of course, "Alright then, let's go get some chow." Everybody cheered, well, everyone except Fang who, of course, doesn't cheer.

**Me: End of chapter two! Yay!**

**Samik: Yay!**

**Teemo: Ha ha ha! I was in a fanfic!"**

**Arin: It's not that big of a deal, Teemo.**

**Teemo: Yes it is.**

**Me: Hey, sorry readers, last chapter I said I was going to put a couple of chapters of Purple Tractors on but, I'm not sure if I'm gonna do that. Sorry.**

**Teemo: What!**

**Me: Hey, sorry, bye!**

**Darrel: I will kill you all.**

**Me: Good luck with that**


	3. Chapter 3 Stop undermining my authority!

**Teemo: Hey Enia.**

**Me: Hey, what's up?**

**Teemo: Nothing, I just blew up the kitchen so Arin's mad at me so I had to flee the premises.**

**Me: Oh, sorry about that.**

**Arin: Teemo! Get back here and clean this up!**

**Teemo: Uh oh, gotta go. *disappears***

**Arin: *appears* Enia, have you seen Teemo?**

**Me: Um...**

**Teemo: No she hasn't!**

**Arin: Teemo! *disappears***

**Samik: What was that all about?**

**Me: Teemo blew up the kitchen again.**

**Samik: Ah.**

**Me: I'm in science class right now, we're learning about germs.**

**Samik: I know, I'm sitting right behind you.**

**Me: Oh, hi.**

**Teemo: *appears screaming* AAA!!!! Save me! She's going to kill me!**

**Samik: Arin doesn't normally react like this.**

**Me: I know, maybe Teemo did something else to set her off.**

**Arin: *appears weilding water-whip* Teemo! Get over here! Stop running!**

**Teemo: Enia! Save me!**

**Me: Uh...**

**Samik: Why's she attacking you, Teemo?**

**Teemo: I donno, all I did was blow up the kitchen for the third time this week.**

**Me: *sighs and moves to intercept Arin* Arin, what did Teemo do this time?**

**Arin: This is the third time this week he blew up my kitchen! Each time he never helped me clean up, he just ran off cackling!**

**Me: *sighs and turns to Teemo* Teemo, apologize and go clean up.**

**Teemo: Why is my _daughter _telling me what to do?**

**Me: Oh just do it.**

**Teemo: *disappears grumbling***

**Arin: Thanks Enia. *rubs hands toghether gleefully* Ha ha ha, now I can work him like a slave! Ha ha ha! *disappears cackling***

**Samik: Uh...**

**Me: Uh is right.**

**Onyx: Enia, stop with the super long authors notes.**

**Me: But they're fun!**

**Onyx: Too bad. *whacks***

**Me: Ow! What was that for?!**

**Onyx: Just get on with the story.**

**Me: *grumbles angrily to self* Fine.**

Fang's POV

We wandered back inside after the strang episode outside and Iggy automatically walked over to the stove to get lunch, "How does macaroni and cheese sound to everybody?"

We all said fine.

The room fell into an awkward silence except for the sizzling of the bread in the pan. I practiced my disappearing technique against the wall, Angel and Max were glaring at each other, Gazzy was building some sort of bomb thing and Nudge was mumbling to herself.

"Max," Angel said, "You've got to stop undermining my authority."

"What the hell are you talking about, Angel? You've got no authority! How many times do I have to tell you! I'm the leader! Just 'cause you mind-controlled me for one _second_ and made me say that you're leader doesn't mean that you are!"

"Yes it does."

"No."

Yes."

"No."

"Guys!" I yelled, "Shut up!"

"Wow, Fang, I didn't know you were capable of such an outburst," Max said. I glared at her.

**Me: Hi hi! I'm in hyper-active mode right now so don't be surprised if something weird happens.**

"Augh! The stove is on fire!" Iggy yelled suddenly.

"What the heck did you do?!" Max yelled. Already the flames were spreading across the ceiling, walls and floor.

"It doesn't matter!" I yelled, "We have to get out of here!"

"No!: Angel contradicted, "We have to put the flames out!"

"We'll be burnt to a crisp1! Come on!" Max yelled. She grabbed Angel's arm and started tugging her towards the door, she tried to resist but Max was stronger and angry. I grabbed Iggy, Nudge and Gazzy and hustled them out as well.

We stood and watched our house burn, the flames leaping higher and higher towards the bright blue sky that seemed to mock us by being a happy color. The house was almost completely enveloped in flame when... "Bending powers, go!" the shout came from behind us. We turned around to see the three weirdo's from before, "Arin! Water-bending powers, go!"

"Right!" Arin ran at the house while moving her hands up over her head and back down on the other side, water from the small pond came up out of it and splashed down on the house and the roof was extinguished.

The fire was starting to spread up towards the grass as Teemo ran and leapt over the flock. He did one somersault and landed, his fist punched the ground and a large crack appeared. He stood back, stomped one foot on the ground in front of him and splayed his hands out. The rock split and a deep trench formed around the house. We all stared, maybe these guys were elves after all. Water splashed the house again and more of the flames were extinguished.

The only thing still buring was the left side of the house and the flames were starting to spread past the trench. A flat piece of earth came up from the ground and fell down on the fire, quickly extinguishing it, at the same time that water splashed over the last of the flames. Our house was now just a charred skeleton.

"Yeah!" Teemo yelled, pumping his arm and jumping in the air, "That was awesome! Score one for super awsome bending powes!"

"Wow, you guys really are elves," Max said, looking from the them to the still slightly smoking remains of our house.

"Yup, we really are."

"Did you find the chicken?" I asked.

"Uh... no," Teemo said sadly, "He tossed an explosive at us and in the confusion got away."

"What kind of explosive was it?" Gazzy asked eagerly.

"I donno, an explosivy type?"

"Do you want our help finding him" Max asked.

"Sure," Teemo answered, "As long as it doesn't involve the government 'cause if the Super-Awesome-All-Powerful-Government finds out that we lost track of Darrel..."

"It could be bad," Fred finished.

"What's the Super-Awesome-All-Powerful-Government?" I asked. Was it what the government secretly calls themselves 'cause if so, that's dumb.

"The human government really has no power at all," Arin explained, "The Super-Awesome-All-Powerful-Government or "secret" government makes all the decisions. They also enforce the magical laws."

"Why would they be mad if they found out you lost Darrel?"

"Well, as you know, Darrel is a very dangerous man - chicken - who is trying to take over the world so if we leave him alone..." Teemo answered.

"World goes boom?" Gazzy asked.

"Yeah," he agreed, "World goes boom."

"So we gotta catch him," Max guessed.

"Yup. We gotta catch him."

**Me: Waa! My chapters are too short!**

**Samik: It's okay, Enia, you don't need to freak.**

**Me: But I wanna freak, freaking is fun.**

**Samik: Enia, breath.**

**Me: *inhales***

**Samik: And exhale.**

**Me: *obeys***

**Samik: Good, better?**

**Me: Yeah.**

**Samik: Alright then, now, pay attention to your Global Studies teacher.**

**Me: Okay.**

**R&R?**


	4. Chapter 4 Going on a chicken hunt

Max's POV

Tromp, tromp tromp,

Tromping through the forest.

Green, green everywhere,

It's starting to piss me off.

**Samik: Heh, nice poem.**

**Me: Yeah, I know. I actually like green forests, they're nice.**

**Samik: Yeah, me to.**

"Why can't we fly?" I complained.

Teemo stopped abrubtly, "You know, that's a really good idea. We'll have a better view from above."

Thank God. I unfurled my wings and jumped up and wove my way through the tight tangle of branches. I broke through and immediately felt the warmth of the sun on my face.

The warmth of the sun on my feathers

feels so good, I'm not under the weather.

**Me: Wow that was really bad.**

**Onyx: Yea, it sucked.**

**Me: Yes, I know. Why don't you put the 'h' on the end of yeah?**

**Onyx: It takes to much energy.**

**Me: Uh... right.**

The rest of the flock broke through after me, then Teemo on his fire-board thing, Arin on nothing and finally Fred, wobbling on purple stuff.

"I really can't fly," Fred groaned.

Teemo laughed, "Yeah, you can't."

Fred glared at him, "I was talking to myself."

**Samik: Hey, Enia, why aren't you in the story?**

**Me: Uh... what?**

**Samik: Why aren't you in the story?**

**Me: Uh... maybe 'cause I'm the author?**

**Samik: So?**

**Me: So stories don't work that way.**

**Samik: Come on. *grabs hand and pulls through portal that randomly appears***

**Me: What?! AAAAA!!!**

"AAAAAA!!!!"

The shout came from the sky. We all tensed and looked up, well, except for Iggy who looked off to the right. A male and a female were falling towards us, the male laughing happily and the female screaming swear words at him. The male righted himself, pulling the other along with him. She pulled her arm away and a fire board errupted beneath her feet. She tipped it upwards adn slowed her descent. The male followed suit with air.

"Enia!" Teemo yelled.

"Who?" I asked.

"My daughter."

"Uh... right."

"Idiot!" the girl named Enia yelled, we could barely hear her, "Why'd you do that!?"

The first few words the male spoke were lost, "...be fun."

Teemo shot up to talk to them, we couldn't hear the words but Enia was gesturing angrily at the male and Teemo was laughing. She glared at them and we heard a couple of snippets of what she was saying, "...bad... Darrel... I'm here... kill..."

Teemo motioned towards our group, she looked down, turned pale and shook her head. The male pushed her towards us but she resisted so Teemo yanked on her arm and slowly they made their way towards us.

Soon they were next to us, Enia was glancing around, trying to find a way to escape.

"Uh... who are you?" I asked.

"I'm Enia," she said reluctantly.

"She's the author," her companion piped up.

She punched his arm, "Shut up Samik."

"The... author?" I spluttered.

She winced but nodded, "Yeah. I'm also the author of where Darrel's from. I've got no idea how I got here so don't ask."

"I made her," Samik said, "She didn't want to, but I made her."

"So, if you're the author... do you know our innermost thoughts?" I asked worriedly.

"No, I make your innermost thoughts."

"So, you're making me say this?"

"Yep."

"Then who's making you talk?"

"Uh... I am."

"So... how are you writing this? You're right here."

"Um..." she tapped her chin, "I think this is, like, my spirit and my actual bodie's writing this at this very moment."

"Then why can I touch you?" I poked her arm.

"Maybe 'cause you're a spirit too."

Before I could respond Iggy broke in, "Stop it! This is making my brain hurt!"

Enia smiled sheepishly, "Heh, sorry."

"Hey, do you know where Darrel is?" Teemoasked suddenly, "'Cause, you know, we're supposed to find him before the secret government fihnds out we lost him."

"Uh... I think he's in a cave somewhere. I haven't really decided yet, probably in the mountains somewhere."

"Wow, you being here could actually be useful," I said, "Even though it will probably give me a headache."

"Gee, thanks."

Samik smiled and nudged Enia in the ribs, "See, I told you this was a good idea."

"What? No you didn't! You just thought it woud be fun!"

"Well, I was thinking it was a good idea."

"Yeah right."

"Alright!" Teemo yelled, artfully interrupting the budding argument, "Let's go!" he turned to me, "Are there any caves in these mountains?"

I nodded, "Yeah, there's a couple not to far from here." I angled myself east and set off. The sun was just beginning to set and the orangy rays flooded the sky.

"Are we going to stop soon?" Gazzy asked, he rubbed his eyes and yawned loudly, his mouth a dark O.

"In a couple of hours," Enia answered.

"Hey," I protested, "I make the decisions!"

"No, I do," Angel disagreed.

"Well I make you make the decisions," Enia said, "Oh, and Angel, Max is the leader."

Angle pouted in stony silence for the rest of the night.

***

Two hours later we touched down in a small clearing in the middle of the forest. All the younger ones immediatly crashed, Iggy managed to climb a tree first, Teemo and Arin talking in a corner, although, I don't know how it' possible for a _circular _clearing to have a corner, and Enia and Samik were having a silent argument.

I pulled Fang over to a secluded part of the clearing, "What do you think?" I asked, "Can we trust her? She seems fairly insane."

"All authors are insane," Fang replied, "It's part of their genetic make-up."

"So you really think she's the author of our... story?" It felt weird to say. I had always thought I was a real person, but I'm just a product of somebodie's brain.

"You are a real person, Max!" Enia yelled, "And you're not a product of my pen, James Patterson wrote your original story!"

I didn't answer her.

Fang put his hand on my shoulder in that reassuring way he has, "I think she is, and, she could be useful to have along."

I nodded, "Yeah."

Enia's POV

I glared at Samik, even though he's the love of my life he still pisses me off most of the time. _Why the hell did you do that? _I hissed in my head, Samik and I are linked telepathicaly, don't ask, _You're such an idiot._

He grinned both physically and mentally, _I know. But this is fun, you get some adventure._

_In case you've forgotten, i'm not actually here._

He grinned again, _And I just like to annoy you._

_Of course._

**Me: Yay! end of chapter... uh, what chapter is this?**

**Samik: I think it's chapter four.**

**Me: Okay, sweet.**

**Teemo: Are you going to be in the next chapter?**

**Samik: Yes.**

**Teemo: Yay!**

**Darrel: Why wasn't I in that chapter?**

**Me: 'Cause.**

**Darrel: 'Cause why?**

**Me: 'Cause I'm the author and I said so.**

**Darrel: I will kill you all.**

**Me: You already said that, I think we get the point.**

**R&R?**


	5. Chapter 5 Fice, Dolphins and Pandas

**The title of this chapter is actually: Fice, Giant Dolphins and Yangtze Pandas.**

**Me: Okay, so i just had Global Studies and my brain was not working. We were talking about the 3 Gorges Dam on the Yangtze River and were supposed to find two endangered animals. My group wrote down the Giant Panda and Yangtze River Dolphin except I wrote Giant Dolphin and Yangtze Panda. Then we were supposed to find two foods you could eat in China and we did fish and rice and I wrote fice.**

**Samik: Start the story Enia.**

**Me: Right.**

**Onyx: God you're such a rambler. I'm gonna call you Nudge except you're not black. But whatever.**

**Me: He he.**

Gazzy's POV

I yawned and stretched as I woke up from my awesome dream about explosions. I dreamt that I had blown up building after building of whitecoats. It was awesome.

I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and looked around. Iggy was lying on one of the thicker branches of a tree, twitching and snorting slightly, Nudge was mumbling, Anger was curled on her side with Total in the little nook her body made, Max and Fang were lying a few feet from each other, just waking up, Teemo and Arin were slumped against each other, Fred was twitching on the ground, and Enia's head lay on Samik's stomach. I grinned evily, this was the perfect time to rig a little trick. I quickly snuck off into the forest.

Once out into the silence of the trees - wow, that was poetic - I quickly pulled my explosives out of the secret pocket Iggy had sewn on the inside of my shirt and pants so Max wouldn't find them. I didn't want to hurt anybody, just startle them enough so that they would scream and I could fall on my butt laughing.

A pudding bomb! Yes! Ha ha ha! I wonder if we have any instant pudding mix.

I crept back to our temporary camp and over to the food bags. Cheese, bread, protein bars, cookies, pudding mix! Yes! Success! Uh... let's see... directions... add milk, water, stir. Uh oh, we don't have any milk. Shit. Oh well. I'll make do, I'll just add more water.

I grabbed the mix, a bowl and a bottle of water and raced back into the forest.

I dropped my pudding bomb supplies and then fell to the ground after them. I ripped open the pudding mix box and pulled out the bag. I tore it open with my teeth and dumped it into the bowl. A bunch of it spilled, oh well. I picked the box back up to look at the instructions but decided, to hell with instructions! I didn't need them! I dumped the water in and mixed it.

The end result looked like watery pudding, like pudding flavored water.

I set my super expander thinger majiger in the bowl. Don't ask where I got it, I don't think you want to know.

I turned around to take my pudding bomb back to camp and ran straight into... rice? What? I took a couple of steps back and would've screamed if I hadn't been trained by Max.

In front of me was a fishy smelling rice monster. It kinda looked like a giant tiger, its entire body was made out of rice, don't ask how it was held together 'cause I don't know, its claws were super long, super sharp pieces of rice and its eyes were a bright glowing red.

I chucked my pudding bomb at the thing, it opened its mouth and swallowed my bomb. There was a slight tick tick tick... BOOM!!! Sadly the thing didn't get ripped apart and rice didn't go flying everywhere, it just jerked slightly and shook its head. I used the distraction to get the hell out of there.

I raced at the rice monster, planted one foot on its head - my foot sank a couple of inches - and jumped off, unfurling my wings and darting through the trees. When I broke through into the clearing everybody was already getting ready for an attack.

"Rice monster!" I yelled, "There's a rice monster coming!"

"It's actually a fice monster," Enia corrected, "Me and my friend - her pen name is Zeus on the Loose which I think is really weird - came up with it during Global Studies. We were going to use it to conquer the world but we were worried it would turn into a mutant and turn against us."

"Uh... right," Max said, "Does this... fice monster have a weakness?"

"Erm... I don't know. I think you have to pull it apart and burn the pieces... I think."

"Great, just great, you know, I thought having you along would be useful, but you don't know much about what's going on, do you."

"No I do not, I like to make stuff up as I go along and I don't want to make things to easy for you, that'd get boring."

"Guys," Teemo pointed towards the trees, the leaves were rustling and the ground rumbling.

"Teemo!" Enia said, "As soon as that thing comes through the trees we're going to blast it with all the fire power we've got."

Teemo nodded.

"Iggy, Gazzy," Enia continued, "Get your explosives ready."

We grinned and set about preparing our explosives. Small explosives in one pile, medium in another and large in the last.

"Arin, use your water whip to knock of pieces of the fice monster."

"What about us?" Max asked.

"You decide."

"But you're just going to make me make the decisions, so why don't you say it?"

"Oh just do it."

Max sighed, "Fine, whatever. Um... Angel, go find some good sized sticks, Nudge go with her, don't go to far."

"What about me?" Fred asked.

"Use your purple magic stuff," Enia answered.

"The bombs are ready!" I announced happily. We had stringed a couple of grenades across where we thought the fice monster was going to come out. The monster would trigger the wire and boom!

Suddenly the fice monster burst out of the woods right where we thought it would. It tripped the wire and the bombs blew and the fice monster was enveloped in a ball of flame.

"Yes!" I yelled, "We did it!"

"It's not dead yet," Enia said.

"Why not?" I complained, "It just got enveloped in a ball of fire! Nobody could've survived that!"

Before she could reply the fice monster leapt out at us. Enia yelled for Teemo to blast it and soon the beast was once again covered in flame. Little bits of charred rice came off and littered the ground.

The fice monster escaped the fiery onslaught but you could tell it was wounded. It was missing half of its tail and most of its outer rice was burned to a crisp. A nasty burning smell filled the air.

Arin's water whip whacked the monster and its ear came off. Purple magic hit it straight in the chest and shoved it off its feet. It crashed into a tree and lay stunned. We all rushed forward and began ripping chunks of its body off. The rice was warm. We got past the charred bits and Teemo broke off to burn each piece we tore off. With each hit the beast howled.

We were almost done when there was more rustling behind us, "Giant Dolphin!" Enia screamed.

We all turned around just in time to see a dolphin crash through the trees. The dolphin had feet on the ends of its flippers. The fice monster stood up shakily and growled. The dolphin snarled back. Some strange sort of panda came out of the woods behind the dolphin. Parts of it were covered in fur and other parts scales. Its feet were part fin, part paw.

"Yangtze Panda," Enia breathed.

"Uh... what?" Max asked, "Do we have to fight them too?"

"No," Enia answered simply.

"Are you going to tell us why?"

"Um... yeah... sure. The Giant Dolphin and Yangtze Panda are allies against the fice monster. So we should all back-up against the outer edge and let them finish their feud."

We all quickly backed up to just behind the tree line. This was going to be awesome! For once we won't be in the battle! We'll be able to watch it!

The Giant Dolphin and the Yangtze Panda advanced on the fice monster who snarled at them and began to back away. The Dolphin leapt at the monster and ripped a piece off its face. The Dolphin flipped the piece into the air and gulped it down. Eew, charred fice.

"You know," Teemo said suddenly as we watched the Panda flip the fice monster over its head, "This would be even cooler if we were sitting on a portico."

"What's a portico?" I asked, my eyes riveted on the battle in front of me. The Panda ripped off a chunk of the fice monster's shoulder and ate it. Eew.

"A portico is a porch/walkway thing with a roof over it and is supported by columns."

"Uh, okay, whatever."

The fice monster roared as its enemies rammed into its shoulders from either side.

"How about antihistamine?" Teemo asked, "Does anybody know what that is?"

"Teemo, nobody cares," Arin said, she turned to us, "He does this all the time, I think it makes him feel special."

Teemo continued as if he hadn't heard, "Antihistamine is a type of drug that relieves symptoms of allergies or colds that interfer with the production of histamine."

"What's histamine?" Angel asked, she stumbled slightly over the word.

"No idea."

"So how do you know what antihistamine is but not histamine?"

"He just enjoys memorizing random facts and reciting them to annoy people," Arin answered, "But, sometimes he doesn't memorize the entire fact."

"Factoid is another word for fact," Teemo said.

Arin whacked him.


	6. Chapter 6 I got yo' boxes!

**Me: Don't ask about what the title of this chapter is about, Onyx came up with it. It's got nothing to do with this chapter. Oh and when I started using portico and antihistamine in the last chapter I was in Literacy - which I hate - we were studying vocaulary from our mystery books and those were two of mine.**

**Disclaimer: Haven't done this in awhile so I probably should 'cause I don't want to get sued. I don't own Max Ride. Although I don't own all the other characters who aren't in Maximum Ride.**

Nudge's POV

The fice monster growled - no, it was more like snarled - at the Yangtze Panda and Giant Dolphin. The Yangtze Panda was really cute, all fuzzy and black and white, kinda like a teddy bear, a really big, ferocious teddy bear but still.

The Panda and Dolphin snarled back at the fice monster and they both lept at it at the same time. Bam! Head on collision! The fice monster reeled back and ran into a large tree. The force of the impact was so big that the tree shook and dropped half of its leaves onto the fice monster thing. Yay! Go tree!

Before the fice monster could get up its enemies fell on it and began ripping rice of its skeleton. Ooo, that's gotta hurt. Then the fight was enveloped in dust and we couldn't see anything. Ah man! I wanted to see some fice monster butt get kicked!

We all peered impatiently into the dust, hoping to catch a glimpse of what was going on, but we couldn't. Poop.

"What do you think's happening?" I asked. I was bouncing up and down like a caffeinated monkey. I like coffee, coffee is good. Max doesn't let me drink the caffeinated stuff which is too bad 'cause it's really good. But, maybe that's a good thing.

"Oh nothing much," Enia answered, "Just some serious fice monster but kickage. It'll be over doon, you're not missing much."

I huffed. Not missing much? Yeah right. I was only missing the first ever fight I wasn't actually in.

"Look!" Samik yelled, "The dust's settling."

All heads whipped over to look and Total finally woke up, "Was' going on?" he mumbled.

"Shh," Gazzy hissed, "We'll tell you later."

The dust settled to reveal... nothing. The fice monster, Giant Dolphin and Yangtze Panda were gone. Vanished. Without a trace. The only proof they had been there was the scuffed up dirt.

"Where'd they go?" I asked, "They, like, disappeared and that's, like, impossible!"

"Nothing's impossible," Enia said, "They probably just teleported away."

"Right. That's cool. I'd like to be able to teleport. Then I could play tricks on people and they wouldn't know it was me 'cause I would be able to teleport out of there," I paused to take a breath.

"Nudge," Max said.

"Right, sorry."

Darrel's POV

**Warning! Profanity! Lots of swear words!**

F***ing mutants. F***ing elves. F***ing doo-gooders. Ruining my f***ing plan to rule f***ing Earth. Why should it matter to them what the f*** I do? What I do is my f***ing buisness and nobody elses!

I stomped around the stupid f***ing cave where I was waiting for the f***ing mutants to come and f***ing find me. A fly hit my face. Stupid f***ing fly. Where were the f***ing idiots anyway? They're probably f***ing lost. I kicked a f***ing rock and hurt my foot. Stupid f***ing rock. Stupid f***ing foot. Stupid f***ing pain. Stupid f***ing world.

There was a loud thud at the entrance. F***ing noises. I stomped out to investigate, "Darrel!" the annoying elf yelled, "We've come to capture you!"

"F*** you," I said.

He tsked, "Darrel, its not nice to use that kind of language."

"F*** you," I said again.

A girl I haven't seen before steped forward, "Darrel, shut the f*** up."

I glared at her, she was another new f***ing annoyance.

"Nobody cares about your little 'problems.' So shut the f*** up and deal with it!"

I growled at her and she smiled annoyingly, "So," she continued, "You're gonna get your f***ing ass over here and come with us."

I grinned, finally something I could f***ing disagree with, "You think its gonna work to order me around? Well its not so f*** off." I turned and ran.

**Me: That was so much fun to write! Let's see how many times I use the f word. 28!**

**Samik: And this folks is why her fanfic is rated teen.**

**Me: The inside of Darrels head is not a pleasant place to be.**

**Darrel: F*** off.**

**Me: See what I mean? Oh, yeah, would anybody like to read a coupld of chapters of Purple Tractors? Send me a review with the answer!**


	7. Chapter 7 Chasing Darrel, Again

**Me: Me wonders if Onyx would mind if I put her in my fanfic. I don't really care what she thinks though and I can't really ask her right now 'cause she's not here.**

**Samik: Are you going to put her in anyway?**

**Me: Hell yeah.**

Enia's POV

I watched Darrel sprint towards the back of the cave. F***, not again, "Come on," I said, "We have to go get him."

Everybody nodded and I took off, sprinting as fast as I could - which is pretty fast just to tell you, thanks elf chromosones! - after him, shooting fire balls and rock at him, trying to impede his escape.

**Me: Hey, what does impede mean? Isn't it like stall?**

**Samik: I think so.**

**Me: Okay then.**

Of course, becaus this is_ me _we're talking about and the universe hates me, it didn't work and Darrel disappeared into the back, "Shit!" I yelled, "Why does the universe hate me!?"

"'Cause you hate the universe?" Samik suggested.

"I do not hate the universe," I growled, "I just get annoyed at it sometimes."

"Whatever you say Enia, whatever you say."

I gave him a look but other than that didn't respond.

"Enia!" The voice came from behind us, it was a voice I'd recongize anywhere. It was Onyx. I spun around.

"Onyx!"

She was in her horse form, deep black with a flame like mane and tail, "For some strange bizzare reason there are zombies coming! Zombies that can sprint pretty fast and spew black stuff from their mouths!"

"Ah crap," I said, "Everybody, run!"

Nobody questioned me, just turned and ran to where we saw Darrel escape. I went last, shoving Gazzy in front of me as he stalled to try and get a glimpse of the zombies. I glanced back and the last thing I saw before I sealed off the entrance was a horde of zombies sprinting towards us with blood and other gunk spewing from their mouths and then the rock slammed shut, leaving us in darkness except for the glowing of Onyx's mane.

"You are a diabolical author, you know that, right?" Max said, trying to catch her breath.

I nodded, "Yeah, I know."

Teemo lit a fire ball and held it out, "We still have to find Darrel."

"Yeah," I said, "Onyx, you didn't get bitten, did you?"

"Nope, I've got a bunch of blood and black stuff all over me from when I kicked them and the spewed."

Spewed is such an awesome word.

Thud! Thud! Thud! The zombies were at the door, "Let's go," I said, "Let's go find Darrel."

Everybody nodded their agreement and Gazzy said, "Can we blow the zombies up? That would be so cool! All the guts and blood and charred zombie flesh would go everywhere and we wouldn't have to worry about them anymore!"

"Maybe later," I answered, "Maybe later."

Samik's POV

**Samik: I'm making her write one from my POV, I think I deserve it.**

**Teemo: Can I have a section to?**

**Me: I don't know! After Samik's section I'm gonna have an Iggy section, that's all I know at the current moment!**

**Teemo: Sigh.**

We walked quickly down the twisting hallways. We tried sprinting at first, but it soon became apparent that that was a really bad idea, I've got some new bruises, I think everbody does. We were following some obscure tracks in the fine layer of sand that covered the floor. Behind us the thuds continued.

"Right!" Enia yelled. We all turned automatically.

"How far did this guy go?" Max asked, "He's got, like, limitless stamina!"

"I'm hungry," Nudge complained. Enia tossed her a granola bar.

Suddenly the thuds ceased, "They've broken through!" Iggy gasped, he was starting to wheeze, we all were, well not Enia exactly, but she's got this Ring thing that stores energy for her so she's probably pulling energy out of that.

"Run faster!" I yelled. I'm not really interested in being zombie feed.

"Samik," Enia said, stopping abrubtly, "Let's stall the zombies."

I sighed, "Um... I'm not really interested in being zombie chow."

"Too bad, let's go." Sometimes it's _really _hard to aruge with Enia. Or, maybe I'm just a wuss.

_I think it's 'cause you're just a wuss._ Enia told me mentally. I stuck out my tounge at her. _Alright, _she continued, ignoring me, _Let's set up some rock blockades. _Three tall rock walls rose up to touch the ceiling before I could do anything.

_Why are we communicating with out minds? _I asked, I prepared some rock spikes to use to spear the zombies.

_'Cause I don't want the zombies to know what we're planning._

_That makes sense._

Thud. Thud. Thud. _The zombies are at the first barrier! _I gulped, I rubbed my hands nervously on my shorts. BOOOM!!!!!!

_Since when do zombies use explosives? _Enia asked, one eyebrow raised, _And, where did they even get them?_

BOOOM!!!!!!

_There goes the second one._

BOOOM!!!!

The zombies were upon us.

**Me: How's that for a chapter ender?**

**Samik: Pretty good. Heh, now they'll have to wait until after your Iggy chapter to figure out what happens.**

**Me: Heh, heh, heh, I know. Hey, guess what, I just remembered how I like to write my name! ENia.**

**Samik: Oh yeah, it looks so much cooler than the other way.**

**Me: And, if anybodies wondering, its pronnounced nee-uh. Not ee-nee-ah.**


	8. Chapter 8 Blind Guys and Caves

**Me: I couldn't think of any thing better for a chapter title, but hey, it's better than 'I got yo' boxes.'**

**Samik: So much better. Hey, can I write a chapter sometime?**

**Me: Sure... whatever.**

**Samik: Yes!**

Iggy's POV

I held on to the back of Fang's t-shirt lightly as we ran through the winding tunnels, attempting to escape the zombies and trying to catch up with Darrel.

"My ears hurt," Total complained.

"It's bats," I said. My ears were tingling slightly and I could finally tell where we were. I let go of Fang's shirt. I assumed he looked at me weirdly so I said, "The echolocation is helping me see."

Silence, then, "Oh, right, I'm nodding, Ig."

Stupid forgetfulness.

"We're catching up!" Teemo yelled suddenly, "The tracks are getting fresher!"

"How can you tell?" Max asked.

"By the dampness, the damper it is the more recently it was made."

"And how exactly do you know that?""

"I'm an elf. I track stuff."

Like that explained anything.

Suddenly my ears picked up on the slightest noise, battle noise, "They're fighting the zombies."

"Then we'd better hurry," Teemo said, "And make the most of the window of opportunity they've given us."

"The window of opportunity, that sounds really dorky, just like you, Teemo!" Arin laughed.

"Ha ha."

We continued moving, jogging quickly over the sand floor, "We've almost got him!" Teemo crowed. He stopped suddenly and I ran into Fang, "He's just ahead," Teemo whispered, "I can see him." He quickly described the scene for my benefit, I hate being blind. Apparently Darrel was about twenty feet in front of us and pausing for a breather.

**Me: Aw crap, the rest of this chapter is going to be really hard to write from Iggy's POV.**

**Teemo: So do it from mine!**

**Me: Alright, whatever.**

Teemo's POV

Finally the time had come for me to take down Darrel. It sure took its time getting here. Heh heh heh, Darrel won't stand a chance! I quietly began sneaking up on him. And kicked a rock which skittered across the floor very very loudly. Of course. Darrel immediatly looked up, saw me, and began to run. I sprinted at him, using all of my super awesome elf speed. The slowest elf can run at about 40 mph and the fastest at around 75. I'm in the middle at about 60 mph. So, of course, I quickly caught up with him. He was only doing around 20.

I tackled him and his breath went out with a woosh. I twisted his hands up behind him and looked up triumphantly to see... six neon unicorns. What?

The middle one was orange then to his right there was a yellow one, a blue one and a green one and to his left was a pink one and a purple one. Uh... what? The yellow unicorn was glaring at us, the pink one staring at a pool of water, entranced. The blue one looked like Harry Potter, the green was attempting to look heroic but failing and the purple one looked, I don't know what. The orange one was the only normal looking one. I'll say once more... what?

Darrel shoved me off and ran. I was still to startled by the unicorns to respond.

**Me: Yay for the unicorns! They patrol the hallways of my school protecting us from the Bob the Builder and the Lawn Gnome who want to eat our feet. Me and Zeus on the Loose - the same person who helped me come up with the fice monster - invented them.**

**Samik: It was during homeroom when they were supposed to be coming up with things that would make the studens feel safer.**

**Me: We actually put it down on the paper. Everybody in our homeroom thinks we're insane. But, that's not much of a surprise, we are.**

**Samik: Yes, yes they are. I have to live with that, there's no escape for me, I'm trapped inside her head.**

**Me: Sorry this chapter took so long, I've been really busy with homework, music, swimming and other stuff.**

**R$R?**


	9. Chapter 9 Meet the Unicorns

**Me: I decided I wanted to make people wait for the zombie scene, I wanted more unicorn action.**

**Disclaimer: I keep forgetting to do this, so, here: I don't own Max Ride but I do own Teemo, Arin, Fred, Darrel, Samik, the Giant Dolphin and Yangtze Panda. Zeus on the Loose and I own the fice monster, Larry, Garry, Mary, Jerry, Harry and Perry. Wow, that took awhile.**

Fang's POV

Okay, this author is, without a doubt, the most insane person in the history of insane people. First the entire story in general, then she had to add zombies and then, on top of that, talking neon colored unicorns. I repeat: Enia = insane.

"Who are you?" Teemo asked, he seemed to have forgotten the fact that Darrel had gotten away, again. His mind obviously got distracted easily.

"I am Larry," said the orange unicorn, he gestured to the yellow one, "This is my brother, Garry."

"I hate you," Garry said, wow, a unicorn that hates the world, that's new.

Larry ignored him, "The green one is Jerry."

"I shall now save the world!" Jerry yelled. Do they all have mental problems?

Larry ignored him, "The purple one is Perry, the pink one is Mary and the blue one is Harry."

Perry made doe eyes at us.

Mary continued staring at her reflection in a pool of water.

"Expelliaumus!" Harry yelled, "Expelliaumus! Why isn't it working!? Expelliaumus!"

Yep, they all have mental problems.

"Why are you here?" Max asked, "Shouldn't you be in some happy sunshiney place with butterflies and happy bunnies?"

All the unicorns seemed to grow darker and Garry snarled and took a step forward. When will Max learn? Stereotypes are always incorrect.

I quickly stepped forward and pulled Max back so she wouldn't turn into a Maxkebob, "Sorry, we don't really know better what with human literature and all."

Larry nodded, "Quite understandable. Garry, calm down."

Garry didn't of course, he obviously has anger issues.

"Garry."

Garry snorted once and flicked his tail, "Fine, whatever, I'll forgive her this time, but next time it happens..." he left the threat hanging.

"Don't worry," Max said, rolling her eyes, "There isn't going to _be _a next time."

"So, we are here because we are chasing a glump of Lawn Gnomes that are being led by Bob the Builder who has a chainsaw. We are trying to stop them before they reach civilization so they cannot eat anybody's feet."

"Uh... what?"

"We should be going," Garry snarled, "We're wasting time."

"Quite right, quite right. We are off! Good day to you." Larry led his small group past us.

"I shall now save the world!"

"Just to warn you," I said, "There's a bunch of zombies back that way."

"Alright," the voice faded as the unicorns walked out of sight.

We all looked at each other with one thought on our lips: "Uh... what?"

**I JUST GOT FANG!!! IT IS SO AWESOME!!! IT'S EASILY THE MOST SUPER AWESOME BOOK IN THE HISTORY OF SUPER AWESOME BOOKS!!!! HOORAY FOR FANG!!!!!!!!!!**


	10. Chapter 10Awesome Blossum Zombie Action

**Me: Time for zombie action! Hooray! There's also probably gonna be some Bob the Builder, Lawn Gnome and Unicorn action.**

**Samik: Can I write this chapter?**

**Me: No.**

**Samik: Please?**

**Me: No.**

**Samik: Pretty please?**

**Me: No.**

**Samik: *starts to whimper* Pweese?**

**Me: I said no!**

**Samik: *looks at me with doe eyes* Pretty please with sugar on top?**

**Me: *whacks* No. Your doe eyes aren't going to work on me.**

**Samik: ...Please?**

**Me: You're pathetic.**

**Samik: Pweese?**

**Me: *grabs in headlock* While I mercilessly whack him, please enjoy this chapter that _I_ wrote.**

Enia's POV

I must say that I do enjoy a good fight. Expecially when the person is way below my skill level and I can just wail on them. A challenge is nice too I suppose. A fight with zombies was... interesting. They were a constant crushing force, extremly persistent but not that smart. You had to beware of their teeth and instantly clamp your mouth shut when they spewed. The only sure fire way to kill them was to demolish their brain. The best way to do it - if you're an if - is to make some sort of spear out of whatever element you bend and slam it into their skull. But if you're not an elf... well, you'd better hope you have some kinda weapon, or, you're screwed. Busting heads is fun...

There were probably about... I donno... 200 zombies. Joyous wonders.

Samik no longer looked scared, he hurled a rock spear through the first zombie's head. It fell to the ground, its low moan silenced. The flame that lept from my hand turned razor sharp on one end and sliced through the heads of three zombies. Luckily for us the space we were trying to defend was narrow so only a couple of zombies could get through. Lucky us, unlucky them.

The next spear Samik threw hit a zombie's head, went through, pulling the zombie along with it, hit the zombie behind it and so on until they rammed into the wall. He looked at me and grinned, "Beat that."

"Oh you are on." I flicked my fingers at the zombies as if I was going to thwack one of them on the head. The Finger Flick is the most powerful move in the Universe. It creates a super big explosion. Small movement, big result. KKKKAAAAAAAABBBBOOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!! Exploding zombies, "Turn away!" I yelled. We did, just before we got splattered with black red-hot zombie bits. The fire blast singed the back of my neck, ow.

"Um... Enia?"

"What?"

"Look," Samik pointed down the hallway... at an angry glump of Lawn Gnomes sprinting at us at full speed with a screaming Bob the Builder wielding a bloody chainsaw leading them. Most of the Lawn Gnomes were small, blue-hatted and smiling hugely, the most vicious kind.

"Protect your feet!" I yelled.

"What?"

"Lawn Gnomes enjoy eating feet."

"Ah. That's to bad. My feet enjoy being non-mutilated and biologically attached to legs."

"I know, mine too."

Quickly we encased our precious feet in rock, "Throw stuff at them!" I cried. So we did. Lawn Gnome after Lawn Gnome fell but still they kept coming... and coming... coming... and coming. No matter how much we threw for every one Lawn Gnome that fell there were two more to take its place. And no matter how many we threw and no matter the accuracy Bob the Builder remained unharmed.

"He's got some sort of force field around him," Samik gulped.

"That's a problem."

We continued chucking stuff anyways, at least we would take out as many of them as we could before they hit us. But they didn't hit us. There was a flash of light and they all froze, Bob's chainsaw an inch from cleaving Samik's neck in two. Around the corner, clip-clopping slowly, came six neon colored unicorns, "Larry, Garry, Harry, Mary, Jerry and Perry!" I yelled happily.

Larry inclined his head, Garry glared at us, Harry attempted to preform a spell on us - it didn't work - Mary started at nothing, Jerry tried to look heroic - but failed - and Perry made doe eyes at us.

"Super Gnome Sweep!" Larry announced. All the unicorns bowed their head and closed their eyes. Their horns began to glow and there was a sudden flash of light. We closed our eyes against the glare and we opened them all that was left of the Lawn Gnome were small piles of ash. Bob the Builder was still unharmed.

"What just happened?" Samik asked.

"It's the ultimate Lawn Gnome killing technique," Larry explained.

"That's cool," I said, "But we gotta go, we have a chicken to fry."

"Do we really have to fry him?" Samik asked.

"It was just a saying, Samik," I sighed, exasperated. Sometimes, sometimes, he's just so annoying.


	11. Chapter 11 The Not So Scary Chapter

**Me: Me is gonna try for a horror and suspense type chapter. It will most likely not work. Oh well, who cares.**

**Samik: This is not going to end well. She's been obsessed with zombies lately. **

**Me: Yes, yes I have. Blame the movie Zombieland. That's what got me started. then I read the Zombie Survival Guide and then World War Z, both by Max Brooks. He's a good author, his stuff is awesome. My zombies are a bit different than his though, they're capable of running and somehow are capable of using explosives. Okay, chapter time.**

**Samik: Can I -**

**Me: Don't even think about asking, Samik.**

**Samik: Ah man.**

Gazzy's POV

Unicorns are weird, especially neon unicorns. I always thought they were kinda girly, but, there's nothing girly about Garry, or Larry. Perry and Mary are pretty girly though. The others are probably in the middle.

Nudge yawned, "Max, I'm tired. Can we stop for the night?"

Max nodded.

Thank God. I'd never admit it, but, I was tired too. We all dropped our packs in relief. I fell to the ground and put my head on my pack, ready to zonk out. But before I could Iggy heard the sound of running feet and a low moan reached us. Enia and Samik barreled around the corner, "Get up! Get up! Run!!!" We all scrambled up and started running, slinging our packs over our shoulders as we went.

"What's going on?" Max asked Enia as they ran together.

"More zombies," she said in short, panting breaths, "Lawn Gnomes too. And Bob the Builder. Who has a chainsaw."

Fang drew up next to them, "How come the zombies aren't eating the Lawn Gnomes?"

"'Cause the Lawn Gnomes are made out of plastic and ceramic and stuff like that."

"What about Bob the Builder? He's human."

"He whacks their heads off he they try."

"Ah."

"What don't we fight them?" I asked.

"Because there are about 50,000," Samik answered, "Do you really want to fight 50,000 zombies who are all out for your flesh?"

"No."

"Thought not."

"Hey Enia," said some random new person.

Enia glanced over, "Oh, hi Myrhh. Was' up?"

"Nothing much. Me an' Merry got bored, we decided we wanted to be in your story."

"_I_ wasn't bored," the new girl said, "_I_ was perfectly content with what I was doing when he suddenly jumped out of a tree, grabbed my arm and yanked me here."

I tugged at Enia's shirt, "How'd they get here?"

"The pen is a powerful tool young man," she said seriously, "Do not underestimate it."

"You sounded like Yoda."

She laughed, "Yeah."

"So you just decided that they would be in the story and boom they appeared?"

"Basically."

"Sweet."

"Hey, have you guys forgotten the fact that we're being chased by zombies and Lawn Gnomes and such?" Fang asked, sounding kinda annoyed.

Enia grinned, "No."

"It sure seems like it."

Suddenly we were falling. I glanced up and saw Darrel's grinning face looking down on us. I stuck my tonuge out at him and his face abrubtly hardened, "Wings out!" Max yelled. I snapped my wings out and winced as my fall stopped suddenly but then I was soaring upwards at Darrel's shocked face. I put out one hand and whacked him on the chin. I landed, cackling. When Teemo landed he jumped at Darrel. Darrel rolled to the side and ran, throwing something at us as he did so.

"Get down!" I yelled as i scooped ut up and threw it at the other side of the hole. We all dropped to the ground as the bomb exploded right when the Lawn Gnomes and zombies were at the edge of the hole.

"Get up and run!" Enia cried as the tunnel filled up with smoke. We did. I jumped up and sprinted down the hallway away from the lung clogging smoke. Finally I burst out the other end of the tunnel and ran straight into some old dude.

"Sorry," I said as I offered to help him up. He ignored my hand and pushed himself to his feet, looking disdainfully away from me.

Teemo came out after me, when he saw the three old people he skidded to a halt and fell to the ground, "Uh oh..." he said.

**Me: Bom bom bom! Okay, so this chapter wasn't really that suspenseful. When I write I go with the flow and the flow wasn't that scary.**

**Samik: *snorts* Go with the flow. Heh. Dorky.**

**Me: Shut up.**


	12. Chapter12The Secret Government Officials

**Me: The three old dudes are also from Purple Tractors. They are the Super Awesome All Powerful Government, also known as the secret government. In the human realm they make sure all the laws of magic are followed and that humans remain ignorant.**

**Samik: The others realms don't have a secret government, they don't need one. The humans are the only species that are ignorant enough to refuse to believe in magic even though it's right in front of their faces.**

**Me: Sorry if we ruined your view of the world.**

**Samik: Can I -**

**Me: No!**

Teemo's POV

Oh gods, oh gods, oh gods. They really do hate me. They really are out to get me. I kinda always knew that but... I never guessed they would ruin my life like this. Right, explain what the hell I'm talking about. Okay. The Elven gods hate me for some strange reason that I cannot explain. Maybe it's the fact that I tried to steal something from them... or maybe it's my annoying personality. I donno. They said that they would do whatever it took to ruin my life, and eat my face if they ever saw me again.

The three old dudes were from the Super Awesome All Powerful Government. They'd been looking for me ever since I accidentally let Darrel escape.

"It was an accident!" I yelled, "I didn't mean too! Why Enia, why!?! Why did you let them find me!?!"

"Blame the pen, not me," Enia said, "I just go with the flow."

"You said that in the author's notes," Samik grinned.

"Oh no!" Enia yelled, "The pen won't write!"

"Make them go away!" I wailed, watching the government officials warily.

"But that wouldn't make sense!"

"It didn't make sense when Myrhh and Merry randomly appeared! You could make them go run an errand or something!"

"Don't we get a say in this?" the oldest government guy asked.

"No!" I yelled as Enia said, "The pen decides what happens."

"What?"

"Yeah, this is a story."

"Right."

The youngest official stepped forward, obviously wanting to move the conversation forward, "Teemo, we entrusted you with the task of capturing Darrel and you have not done that yet. Who knows what havoc he has wrought."

"None" I said, "We've been right on his tail the entire time. We just haven't caught him yet 'cause we've had some minor problems with zombies and feet eating Lawn Gnomes."

They gave me a weird look.

"Darrel's about to blow up the Empire State Building," Enia announced suddenly.

"What!" I screamed, "How'd he get there?! We're in Colorado!"

"It was probably Coo-Coo-Dude."

"Who?" Max asked. For the first time the government guys noticed the flock. They didn't say anything but their expressions clearly said, 'We'll talk about this later.'

"He works for Darrel. He's got teleportation powers," Enia explained.

"Do we have teleportation powers?" Max asked.

"No..." I said sadly. Or, at least not very good powers, when I try to teleport I either go about five inches or I lose something along the way.

"Yep," Enia said.

"What?" I asked, "No we don't."

She rolled her eyes, "You have once again forgotten the fact that I'm an _author_."

"Yeah Teemo," Arin scoffed, "She's an author." I stuck her tongue out at her.

"Right," Enia continued, "Everybody get ready, next stop, the Empire State Building!"

**Me: I could end this chapter right here.**

**Samik: Yeah, but then it would be really short.**

**Me: True... Alright! I won't stop it here! I'll have a really long author's note!**

**Samik: Oh god.**

**Me: I'll teach you all an almost fool-proof strategy if you've been kidnapped!**

**Samik: Please note the face that she 'almost fool-proof.'**

* * *

**Make your captor go insane. **

**-Answer all his questions with: "I know you are but what am I?" or "The world may never know."**

**-Ignore them**

**-Randomly start singing**

**-When they enter the room pretend you ordered a pizza, act indigent. ex: "Where is my pizza? I ordered it, like, fifty minutes ago!" Captor: "What?" You: "This is unacceptable! I demand good service! I want my money back!" Captor: "Shut up." You: "I won't stand for this! Who is you manager!? I demand to speak with them!" And so on.**

**Examples!**

**Captor: What's your name?**

**You: The world may never know.**

**Captor: Where are you from?**

**You: I know you are but what am I?**

**Captor: That doesn't even make sense.**

**You: I know you are but what am I?**

**Captor: Shut up!**

**You: We all live in a yellow submarine! A yellow submarine! **

**Captor: Be silent!**

**You: Where's that pizza I ordered?**

**Captor: What pizza?**

**You: The pizza I ordered, like, fifty minutes ago!**

**Captor: No you didn't.**

**You: Yes I did! It was sausage and extra cheese! I want my pizza!**

**Captor: Be silent!**

**You: La la la la la laaaaaaaaaaaa!**

**Captor: AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

***please note that it is quite possible that these strategies may get you killed or extremely hurt, especially if your captor has anger issues *cough* Princey *cough* so do not blame me if that happenes***

* * *

**R&R?  
**


	13. Chapter 13 Final Stand?

**Me: Hey Samik, guess what.**

**Samik: What?**

**Me: You get to write the next chapter.**

**Samik: Hooooorraaayy!**

**Me: And after that we're gonna have a kidnapping scene and put those strategies from the last chapter to the test.**

**Samik: Yay!! So when I write my chapter I can write about anything, right?**

**Me: Right.**

**Samik: Sweet.**

Fang's POV

Teleporting is very uncomfortable. It's like your being squeezed and stretched at the same time. God, I hope I never have to do that again. I was so worried that I was going to lose a limb or something that I thing I gave myself a heart attack.

We landed in front of the Empire State Building right as Darrel was sprinting out the front door, "Somebody tackle him!" Teemo yelled from the back of the group. Before any of us could move a giant horse leapt over us and kicked Darrel in the head, he fell to the ground, unconscious.

"I have come back!" the horse yelled, "Back from the so called 'scouting mission' that you sent me on that was really just a cover-up for the fact that you forgot about me and I disappeared. You also forgot about a bunch of them. Total, Angel, Nudge, Fred..."

"We're still here," Nudge said, "We've always been here."

"Yeah," Angel agreed, "I just haven't said anything 'cause I'm pissed about the fact that I don't get to be leader."

Fred looked up from his book, "What?"

Total poked his head out of my backpack, "Was' happening?"

Enia looked at the horse smugly, "See Onyx, I didn't forget."

"Only 'cause I reminded you!" Onyx huffed.

One of the secret government people butted in, "Have you forgotten the fact that the Empire State Building is about to blow up?"

Enia said, "No," as Onyx contradicted her, "Yes she has, she forgets everything."

Enia stuck her tongue out at Onyx before she turned to us, "Flock, check the roof. Teemo, you search the bottom floor, Arin, take the elevator shafts."

"Can I go with Teemo?"

"No. Fred, Onyx, Myrhh, Merry, Samik and me are gonna split up and search the main building. Teemo, when you're done with the bottum floor come find one of us. Now go!"

The flock took to the air and made it to the top of the Empire State Building without a hitch. We landed on the top and looked around, "Anybody know what we're supposed to be looking for?" Max asked.

"Well," Iggy said, "Enia said that Darrel was going to blow up the Empire State Building so we're probably looking for some kind of detonator."

"Everybody be quiet," the Gasman added, "Listen for a beeping noise."

We all went silent and put our genetically enhanced hearing to use. Nothing. Nada. Only the whistling wind and there was a lot of wind up that high.

"Let's search manually anyway," Max said, "Just to be sure, there's a lot of wind up here, it's possible we just aren't hearing anything."

"Why do we care?" Angel asked suddenly, her face a picture of innocence.

"What?" Max growled in that 'I'm about to hurt you' voice I know so well.

"Why do we care if Darrel blows up the Empire State Building?"

"Because we're supposed to _protect_ the humans, not destroy their symbols!" Max's face was growing darker by the second. Uh oh.

"But what have the humans done for us except try to capture us and run experiments on us and use us for their own personal gain?"

"Not all humans are like that! My mom and Ella aren't! Some of those kids from Virgina didn't want to capture us!"

"But what about the others?" Angel contradicted quietly.

I broke in before Max could say anything ,"If this thing blows a bunch of people who know nothing about anything will die, so let's just find the stupid detonator!"

Max gave me a look like she always does when I make some kind of statement but luckily didn't say anything, we had already wasted enough time arguing. We darted around the sides of the building. Still nothing. Just as we landed the building began to rumble...

**Me: But this chapter is not done yet! I promised myself a long chapter so long is shall be!**

**Samik: My POV! My POV!****  
**

Fred's POV

**Samik: You suck.**

**Me: Fred hasn't had a chapter yet, he deserves it.**

**Fred: What?**

Ah the Empire State Building. The very words bring back some very unpleasant memories. Memories of pain and humiliation, of being force fed a potion that took away my will and turned me into a girl. Of all the millions of things Darrel has done to me.

**Me: Minor explanation time. The 'being force fed a potion that took away my will and turned me into a girl' is from the second Purple Tractors book that is not done yet. What can I say? Darrel's mind is a twisted place.**

**Samik: Wait, since Darrel's a character you made up, doesn't that make _your_ mind a twisted place?**

**Me: True, true...  
**

But when your desperately trying to find a detonator before it blows up and kills millions of people it's not really a good time to be pondering the past. Onyx, Enia, Myrhh, Merry and I each took a floor and began to comb it very very carefully, inch by inch, corner to corner. It was mind numbing, but it was very important to do it well, I don't really wanna get blown up. I searched behind every picture, shook out the rug, looked in the vases and in the tables. I even put my ear next to the wall and listened. I somehow managed to figure out how the computer worked so I could search for any kind of electronic detonator. Nothing. Every nook, every cranny, all empty.

I finished my floor and went to find Enia to figure out which floor I should search next. Myrhh was just finishing up his floor so we went up together, "Anything?" he asked.

"Nope," I answered.

"Me neither. This place is so big, I'm worried we won't find it in time."

"102 stories," I said.

"Not helping," Myrhh groaned.

I grinned," I know." It's one of my many talents that really aren't all that useful but are really fun to use to get on people's nerves.

On the next floor Merry was sitting on the floor, doing her nails. Myrhh sighed and rolled his eyes, "Merry, what are you doing?"

Merry glanced up, "What? Oh, I got bored."

Myrhh looked incredulous, "The Empire State Building is about to blow up and you got _bored_?"

She shrugged, "It's not my fault I got Teemo's gene for attention span."

"Right. Come on Fred, let's go find Enia. Merry, get back to work."

Merry stood up as we started up the stairs, taking them three at a time. Onyx was hard at work and didn't even look up as we ran across the floor, up the stairs and to the next story. Samik merged with us and asked, "You guys done too?"

I nodded. We were on the last step when the building suddenly started rumbling and we were thrown of our feet...

**Me: Ha ha ha! I love this chapter!**

**Samik: Are all the sections going to end like that?**

**Me: Basically.****  
**

Myrhh's POV

I feel special, I get a chapter, yay.

Searching for stuff is fun. Especially when you have a time limit and the price for not finding what your looking for is death or extreme pain. It makes what your doing so much more interesting. Yeah, I'm weird like that. I was very careful with my search. I even took the pictures out of their frames, I shook out the rug, I looked in the sink and listened to the walls. I tried not to cause too much destruction, I didn't want to get sued if the Empire State Building didn't blow up.

Fred came up about fifteen minutes later, "Anything?" I asked.

"Nope."

Fwoop. Not good, "Me neither. This place is so big, I'm worried we're not going to find it in time."

"102 stories."

"Not helping," I groaned. Telling a person that they have to search 102 stories in who knows how long really isn't that smart.

He grinned, "I know."

He was like Teemo, he had the ability to annoy people without even trying.

Merry was supposed to be searching the third floor yet she was sitting on the floor with her nail polish out. I sighed, "Merry, what are you doing?"

She glanced up, "What? Oh, I got bored."

I gave her one of my looks, "The Empire State Building is about to blow up and you got _bored_?"

Merry shrugged, "It's not my fault I got Teemo's gene for attention span."

Oh, right. Forgot about that. Teemo's notorious for spending only about five seconds on any given task, "Right," I said, "Come on Fred, let's go find Enia. Merry, get back to work."

As Fred and I started up the stairs Merry got to her feet slowly and put away her nail stuff. We ran across the next story without stopping - Onyx was too intent on her work to notice us - and on the next floor Samik joined us, "You guys done too?"

I nodded, not wanting to wast any energy on talking. We sprinted up the stairs and on the last step were thrown forward by the sudden shaking of the Building. Oh no...

**Me: This is so much fun! Whee!  
**

Merry's POV

Don't blame me if the Building blows up. It's not my fault I hate work. It's not my fault I have the attention span of a sugar jacked, five year old kid with ADHD. If you have to blame someone blame Teemo, he's the one who gave me the gene.

I managed to search an eighth of the room before I got bored, sat down and got out my extensive nail polish collection. I selected pink and light blue and began to very carefully polka dot my nails. I glanced up when Myrhh said, "Merry, what are you doing?"

"What?" I asked, "Oh, I got bored."

He gave me one of his looks, "The Empire State Building is about to blow up and you got bored!?"

"It's not my fault I got Teemo's gene for attention span." Like I said earlier, blame Teemo.

Myrhh looked at me, "Right," he looked over at Fred, "Come on Fred, let's go find Enia. Merry, get back to work."

I sighed inwardly and got up as they left. I opened a couple of drawers but the room began to rumble before I could do any more...

**Me: That section was short.**

**Samik: My POV! My POV!**

Onyx's POV

**Samik: Grr!!!**

No, it is not that hard to search a floor when you're a horse. You just have to knock stuff over and use your teeth. So that's what I did. I knocked the paintings of the walls and pulled open the drawers with my teeth. I kicked over tables and ripped stuff to shreds. It was pretty fun. I was having so much fun destroying the floor that I hardly noticed when Myrhh and Fred ran by. And I didn't notice the fact that the building was starting to blow up until I was thrown off my feet and into the wall...

**Me: That was really short, sorry Onyx.**

Samik's POV

**Samik: Yes!!! Finally!**

Enia gave us the floor we were each supposed to search, I, of course, had to say, "You know, if two people searched a floor together we could search it so much faster."

Enia, of course, said, "Samik, shut up."

Of course that's what she said, if she hadn't she wouldn't be Enia.

I sighed gently and we went to our assigned floors. Fred, Myrhh, Merry, and Onyx broke off until Enia and I were left, "Think we'll find it?" I asked.

"Of course," Enia said, confidence radiating from her stride.

"How can you be sure?" I persisted, "This place is so big." We were on my floor now.

Enia whacked the back of my head, "Don't talk like that, we'll find the detonator, we have to," her voice dropped slightly at the end, as if she really wasn't so sure that we would.

We were on my floor now and I smiled and patted her head and she stuck her tongue out at me before I turned away to begin my search. I listened to the walls, almost every detonator beeps and listening is one of the most sure fire ways to find them. But there was nothing. There was nothing in the drawers or paintings or anything!

I was just putting the rug down after shaking it out when Myrhh and Fred ran up the stairs so I joined them and as we ran up the stairs asked: "You guys done too?"

Myrhh nodded but didn't say anything else. I could tell they hadn't found anything.

On the last step I was thrown off my feet by the sudden shaking of the floor...

**Samik: It's so short...**

**Me: Sorry.**

**Samik: No you're not.**

**Me: Oh well.**

Teemo's POV

The Empire State Building has a secret basement. It has a human basement and then there's a certain spot where if you either earthbend or shoot magic into this tube a spiral staircase appears and down you go into the lair of the secret government officials.

I quickly searched the elevators and the human basement and didn't hear the beeping until after I had earthbended the staircase. The pressure set off the detonator and the beeping sped up._ Rut roh,_ I thought.

**Teemo: It's even shorter than Samik's...**

**Me: Sorry Teemo.**

**Teemo: Why was _I_ the one who caused it?**

**Me: Donno.**

**Teemo: Grr...**

Arin's POV

**Arin: Ooo, I finally get a chapter, yay.**

Search the elevator shafts. Sure, Enia. I'll do just that. I'm sure it won't take to long to search miles of elevator shafts. Sure. There were six elevators in the lobby and they all went all the way up to the top floor. Oh well, might as well get started.

I picked a random elevator and sent it down to the bottom so I could get into the shaft. All I have to do is climb up the rope and listen. Simple, right? Wrong. The rope was pointy and covered in grease. Oh, wait, I can fly. Never mind! It is easy! I flew in slow circles around the shaft. Listening carefully and even tapping the walls in some spots. Nada. When I was at the top I sighed and shook my head before letting go of the air and plummeting back down towards the bottom. The feeling was exhilarating, the wind rushing through my clothes and hair, stinging and bringing tears to my eyes.

I slowed my fall abruptly and landed lightly. My feet were on the ground for two seconds before I was thrown back into the air...

**Me: This section might be the last...**

Enia's POV

Super Bomb Locator! Go!... it didn't work. Oh well, manual search time!

Search the tables

Search the floors,

Search the drawers and the walls.

Smash the paintings

Smash the wardrobes

Smash the lampshades and the lamps.

Search and search until it blows!

That's what I did. I search and I searched until the building started to rumble, then, without thinking, I sprinted towards the window and leapt out.

No one's POV

Myrhh, Fred and Samik watched Enia blast the window and jump out. They looked at each other then back at the window before following Enia, "Whoohoo!" Samik yelled, "I'm gonna beat you!"

"No you're not!" she yelled back and fire flashed out of her feet and she rocketed downwards. Samik laughed and surged after her. Myrhh and Fred looked at each other, shrugged and went faster. The flock saw them and Max looked at Fang, "I guess it's time to go."

He nodded and the flock jumped off the roof one by one. They free fell a ways before snapping out their wings and coasted to land next to the others.

"Nobody found it?" Max asked.

Enia shook her head sadly, "It was kinda a hopeless task, this place is just so big."

They turned to watch as one of the symbols of America very slowly began to go up in flame.

Arin blasted the gold elevator open and landed on the floor. She was right about to run out the front door when she remembered Teemo. He was in the basement where the rumbling had started!

Fire blasted out of the staircase before she could move and the lobby quickly filled with smoke, "Teemo!" she yelled, tears began to flow down her cheeks, "No..."

But a figure came sprinting out of the fire, it grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the door, "Come on Arin!" but the fire was suddenly in their way and the ceiling began to collapse. They skidded to a halt and from the outside the others could just barely see them.

Teemo pushed the fire out of the way and they ran once again at the glass door. The heat burst the door right before they reached it and showered them with cubes of glass, the doors were made of safety glass. Everybody let out a sigh of relief when the saw Teemo and Arin running towards them.

The fire continued to spread slowly up the building, shattering glass and cracking the walls. Everybody did everything the could to put out the flames but there was just to much. When the fire reached the very top the ground began to shake, the heat from the flames had triggered the second detonator, the detonator that made it all go boom, "Run for it!" Enia yelled as fire, ash and rock rained down around them. Darrel was picked up and the government officials shoved to the front and they began to run. The flock didn't risk taking to the air out of fear that their wings would get hit, Enia stayed on the ground to make sure no one fell behind. Teemo watched Darrel and everyone else just ran. The ground rumbled and threatened to throw them from their feet but still they ran on.

Other people streamed out of the buildings, some stopped to stare but most just turned and ran. By now the air was filled with smoke and breathing was becoming labored, but still everyone ran on as the fire spread throughout the city and panic was ensured.

The flock and the others made it out of the city and quickly took to the air, moving quickly out of the sight of the humans and up into the sun's weak light, "What do we do know?" Max asked.

"Why'd you make the Empire State Building blow up?" one of the government officials asked, turning to glare at Enia.

"Like I have said many times before, don't blame me, blame the pen."

"Let's just go find a place to stay for the night," Fang cut in, "We all need a rest."

Everyone agreed and they made their way down into a forest.

**Me: Woo hoo! Finally done!**

**Samik: Yay!**

**Me: Sorry Samik, you're chapter's being delayed, I need to write a blog comments chatper.**

**Samik: What!**

**Me: Sorry.**

**Me: Also, sorry my chapters take so long. I'm really busy right now with track and swimming and stuff. Track's almost over though, tomorrow (5/8/10) is state. Yay for high jump!**

**R&R?  
**


	14. Chapter 14 BlogBlog Comments

**Me: Okay, it was brought to my attention that I accidentally forgot to say that Onyx got out safely, well, she did. There we go. Sorry Onyx**

Fang's Blog

Citizens of America, you probably know by now that the Empire State Building was blown up yesterday. The flock takes no responsibility. It was all Darrel T. Mutantchicken's fault. Right, what am I talking about. The flock has joined up with these crazy elves (not kidding) who were hunting the chicken from outer space who's trying to take over Earth. They've caught him now so don't worry. One of the elves is this insane author, she's writing this story and making everything happen. So I guess you should blame her too. The flock had nothing to do with it, unless you count not finding the detonator in time.

elfgirl9

heh heh, Im commenting on your blog fang even though i was there. he he. yes, i am insane, i know that

onyxaurora07

im commenting on the comment above, enia, shut up.

crazyguy101

fang, is it ture you had a run in with zombies and lawn gnomes?

obsessedwithfang

fang! im so glad youre okay!

elfgirl9

you owe america a new empire state building fang

onyxaurora07

no he doesnt, you do!

Well, I guess I'll respond to some of these.

I agree with Onyx, Enia, shut up.

Yes crazygur101, we did have a run in with zombies and Lawn Gnomes, it wasn't fun.

Fly on,

Fang

**Me: Okay, that was weird, it didn't really work, I probably won't end up doing it again.**

**Samik: It's time for my chapter!**

**Me: Okay, here we go, for better or for worse.**

**Samik: It'll be for the better.**

**Me: I'm not so sure about that.**

**Samik: Hey!**

**R&R?  
**


	15. Chapter 15 Samik's Chapter

**Samik: I don't get to pick the name of my chapter?**

**Me: No.**

**Samik: Poop.**

Max's POV

I watched Fang type on the laptop that he somehow still had, "You writing about what happened?"

He nodded, "Yeah. Enia and Onyx commented, although, it was more of bickering with each other."

"The bicker a lot, don't they."

"And yet they're best friends."

Fang smirked slightly and shut down the computer. He yawned, "It's getting pretty late, we should get some sleep."

"Yeah, okay." I was actually pretty tired, it felt like I hadn't slept in months. I settled into my tree branch and shut my eyes, sleep quickly claimed me.

The next morning I actually didn't wake up to the sound of screaming or the smell of smoke in the air, I woke up to the sound of birds chirping and the smell of dew. Wow, what a nice change.

Everybody was creeping around where we had crashed, carefully getting all of our stuff. Fang motioned me over, "We're ditching the government officials."

"Why?"

"They have Darrel buy Teemo figured that they would still want to punish him, Fred and Arin."

"Why? They got Darrel."

"Something about the fact that he escaped in the first place."

"Come on," Teemo hissed at us, "We have to go."

The flock was already up and Nudge was practically jumping with joy, "This is so exciting! It's like we're secret agents! Sneaking out in the dead of night, this is so much fun! Why don't we do this more often, Max?"

I motioned for her to be quiet then looked around to make sure everybody was there, on person was missing. Can you guess who it was? Bingo. "Where's Angel?"

We all glanced around, Enia was the first to spot her, "Over there." Angel was right next to the government officials, about to wake them up."

"Angel what are you doing?"

She smiled at me faintly and bent down to wake them up.

"Run," Teemo said simply.

"But what about Angel?"

"She's not on our side any more."

I nodded in resignation and we ran. Through the forest and over the hills, away from Angel we go. We stayed in the protection of the forest, there was a smaller likelihood of them seeing us through the trees than if we were in the air.

"Can I set off a smoke bomb?" Gazzy asked hopefully.

"Sure," I answered, "Give us some cover."

Gazzy chucked something over his shoulder and when it hit the ground a 50 mile area was developed in smoke. "That's a damn powerful smoke bomb," Samik said. Gazzy grinned.

We burst out of the trees only five minutes later and were sprinting towards a street and some kind of sparkly light, "Uh oh..." Enia muttered, "Not good." then the light spread around us until it blotted out everything else. Oh come on, not again.

**Me: Is your chapter done yet?**

**Samik: No.**

Angel's POV

Well, my plan failed. I don't know why I wanted the government officials to catch them, I just had a feeling that something bad would happen. But I didn't want to have to explain why I was the only one left so I turned and ran after Max and the others, "Wait up!" I yelled, but they didn't hear me. Suddenly smoke filled the woods. I skidded to a halt, not wanting to run into a tree or something. "Guys?" I tried to yell but my throat filled with smoke and I choked. This isn't good. I kept running, my hands out in front of me. I didn't run into anything luckily but when I made it out of the forest the others were being enveloped by a white light. I sprinted after them until I was enveloped by the light too...

**Me: Wow Samik, you actually aren't to bad.**

**Samik: *bows* Thank you, thank you. I'll be back again soon.**

**Me: Don't be so sure about that.**

**Samik: Ah man.  
**


	16. Chapter 16 The Elf Realm

**Me: La la la... la la la.**

**Samik: Why are you singing?**

**Me: 'Cause... we're going to the elf realm!**

**Samik: Yes!**

Nudge's POV

The really weird white light enveloped us quickly as soon as we reached. I suddenly felt weightless as if my body wasn't there and I was just a floating thing. It was pretty cool.

The light set us down gently in a river. The water was the clearest I've ever seen, no amount of stirred up sand could cloud it. It tasted pretty good too. Kinda piney but clean and water like. Okay, not I'm confusing myself. We stood up and were waist deep in the water, little silver fishes darted around our ankles. I laughed as one nudged my calf. "Xhaqus!" Samik yelled suddenly. He said it like zach-hues.

"What?" I looked away from the sliver dollar fishes. Standing just beyond the tree line these really weird looking creatures were standing in the shadows. They were over ten feet tall with what looked like natural body armor that was covered with matted hair. Their eyes were red and they had huge curling horns on the top of their heads - kinda creepy lookin'.

"And Bandos," Enia added. (ban-doos) I noticed the giant bearr things behind the Xhaqus. It was like a bear on steroids, giant claws, giant teeth, slitted eyes, slobber, matted fur... etc etc etc.

"Don't forget the Sumas," (shoe-maas) Teemo gestured down the stream towards some giant shark things. They were bigger than a great white shark and the fins were larger and flatter. "Get our of the water." We scrambled up the far side of the bank from the Xhaqus and Bandos.

"Ha ha ha!" came a voice from the trees.

"Oh gods," Enia groaned, "Not him."

"You will never escape my army Enia Silverson!"

"What's going on?" Max asked, "Who is that nut job and where the hell are we?"

"I am not a nut job!" the voice yelled indignantly. (**A/N Not Max's voice, for all the uber fans who naturall assume that when a book says 'the voice said' that they're talking about the Voice - like me - I'm actually talking about a voice in of a hidden person. Just though I'd make that clear.)**

"We're in the Elf Realm," Samik explained, completely ignoring the person, "That nut job is Princey, well, that's what we call him, his real name's Fransisco Delmaro."

I snorted, "Fransisco."

"Yeah, I know, it's pretty funny. Princey is the prince of the Earth Kingdom and Enia rules the Water Kingdom - which now that I think about it is a really bad idea because she's a total space cadet but anyway Princey's obsessed with bringing Enia down and killing me 'cause he hates me for some bizarre reason. He's really annoying."

"You sounded like Nudge," Max said.

"Really annoying is an understatement," Enia said, rolling her eyes, "I would say _extremely _annoying."

"Stop talking about me like I'm not here!" Princey yelled. He dropped down out of the sky. His face was sneering and his arms crossed.

"Sorry Princey but you're just so easy to forget about. You really don't stand out much."

Princey's face turned bright red and he opened his mouth to say something but I interrupted before he could. "I still don't get where we are."

"We went through a portal," Onyx answered, "Portals connect all the different realms. We're in the Elf Realm right now, Enia's home realm. It's weird, I thought the portals from the Human Realm were blocked."

"I altered it for the story."

There was a crack and a dark haired girl appeared, "Hello Enia! You promised me that I would be in your story but you never got around to it so I decided that I would pop in. Rabbit!" she ran off into the forest.

"Um... who was that?"

"Minka."

"Uh... right."

Enia sighed and glanced around, "I donno, maybe this chapter was a bad idea. I mean, the portals are blocked for now and this is only making me..." her voice trailed off, her eyes sad and longing.

"Don't worry about it Enia, it'll be fine," Samik assured her.

"What's going on!" I yelled "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Nudge, watch your mouth," Max growled, glaring at me.

"Sorry," I muttered. Max swore too, is it my fault I picked up on it?

"Don't worry about it," Enia said, her sunny demeanor back, "It's nothing."

I didn't believe her, something was going on, something she wasn't telling us. I know it, Max does it all the time, you learn to recognize it.

"I'm still here, Enia," Princey said.

"Stuff it," she growled back, "I don't care."

"Fine." He dropped down on Iggy and yanked him up into the air. Iggy struggled but Princey had a firm grip on him.

"Hey! Let me of me you stupid son of a bitch! Can't you tell I'm blind? Not fair!"

But Princey didn't listen to him, he and his cronies just left, "Iggy!" Enia yelled, "Remember the strategies!"

"What?" Princey said but Iggy just nodded.

"Come on!" Max screamed, "We have to get him!"

Enia nodded, her face more serious than I had ever seen, "Let's go."

We snapped out our wings and took to the air.

**Me: Sorry this took so long, I've been busy.**

**R&R?  
**


	17. Chapter 17 Captured!

Iggy's POV

Why the freaking _blind_kid? I mean, come on, talk about unfair. I had no idea where the hell I was going, all I could hear was a bunch of wind and the occasional bird. Why can't people just give me a break? True I can build bombs and fires, cook, see white and certain color fields but I'm still _blind_. Mleh! If I had a diary this is what it would say:

Dear Diary,

Oh the indignity! I have been captured by some annoying elf named Princey! It's so _not_ fair! Why couldn't they have kidnapped somebody who could _actually see_? Come on, talk about the injustice. Grr!

Iggy

Although, the fact that I'm blind kinda inhibits me from keeping a diary.

I felt us land, the landing was soft and not a running landing like the flocks does. The ground felt rocky beneath my feet and the air thinner. Maybe we're in the mountains somewhere? "Walk, human," Princey said, he shoved my back and I stumbled forward.

"Watch it, bitch," I hissed.

"What'd you call me?" I got slapped so hard I spun off my feet and I barely managed to catch myself on the ground.

"Sure, hit the blind kid, how noble." I spit a stream of warm blood out of my mouth. My cheek continued to sting.

"Phht. Who cares?"

"Well I can't exactly see where you're coming from." Not exactly true. I could sorta tell where he was but he moved so damn fast that it was impossible for me to move in time. So he still had an advantage on me. Silence. I guessed that he was rolling his eyes. I was pulled roughly to my feet, my hands bound tightly behind me, straining my shoulders, then I was pushed forward into the unknown.

Max's POV

"Iggy!" I screamed, my voice thrown behind me by the wind, "No..."

"Fang flew up behind me and laid his hand on my shoulder, how he managed it I have no idea, "He'll be fine. He's Iggy, he'll probably just end up blowing something up."

"But this is an unfamiliar territory! He has no idea what this place is or what's in it! This place is nothing like the human world!"

"Realm," Enia put in, interuptting my freak-out.

"What?"

"They're called realms. Human realm, elf realm, horse realm."

"I"m from the horse realm," Onyx added. Well no duh. Wait, how was she flying? Oh, wait, they're not normal things.

"But but but..."

"Don't worry about it," Enia said, "I know where Princey's taking him. I also know the lay out, we'll get him back. No worries."

I heard Gazzy shreik as something fell on top of him and forced him out of the air.

"Gazzy!"

Then Nudge fell. Something dark grabbing her by the waist and pulling her down into the forest.

"Evasive maneuvers!" Enia yelled, "Go go go!" We ducked and swerved and I was torn by indesicion, who should I go after, Gazzy, Nudge or Iggy?

"Fang, go after Nudge, I'm gonna go get Gazzy."

Fang nodded.

"I'll go with Fang," Teemo said, "He'll need a local."

"And I'll go with you, Max," said Arin.

"Me, Samik and Onyx will continue after Iggy," Enia added, "When you find them follow the river north, it'll lead you to a city in the mountains, go to the castle, that's where Iggy'll be no doubt."

"Got it," I said, and the four of us dropped down into the forest.


	18. Chapter 18 Seperated, not a good thing

Angel's POV

I was alone. The forest in which I landed was filled with sound but I could see none of what was making it. Max and the others were no where to be seen. I sloshed my way out of the shallow river I was standing in and clambered up onto the bank. I looked up to see a pair of large, hairy, heavily clawed feet. They looked to be at least a size seventeen men's, if there's even a size that large. I skittered away, not wanting to see what the belonged too. A hand entered my feild of vision, it was like the foot. I darted to the side and leapt into the air. From there I could see what the thing was; a bear on steroids. It roared and made a leap for me.

Teemo's POV

"Hey, Enia," Myrhh said, "Me and Merry are gonna head out."

"Yeah," Merry added, "I have a date tonight."

"And I have... something."

"See ya," Enia said, "Fred what are you doing?"

Fred glanced up from his book, "It's what I do when you forget me, now can you please forget me again? I am a good part."

Enia rolled her eyes, "No, now come on, we may need you."

He sighed and stuck his book somewhere inside his shirt.

"Alright," Enia said, turning to face all of us, "We're going after Iggy. This also entails the fact that me and Samik get to kick Princey's butt."

I grinned, "Heh heh heh."

"Les' go!" Arin shouted. We shoot of in the direction of Baa Heng He. (baa-hing hey)(**Me: Yes, I know it sounds a lot like Ba Sing Se (no I don't know how to spell it) from Avatar, it also looks a lot like Ba Sing Se, that was completely unintentional. It's the was things are.)**

Fang's POV

I was going to rescue Nudge from an unfamiliar territory with some half-insane elf as a guide. It'll be a wonder if he doesn't get us killed. "Do we have any idea where to start?" I asked.

"Did you see the thing that grabbed her?"

"It was a dark shape. That's about it."

"Hmmm... that's helpful. Tracking time." He looked around, "That way."

"That took you, like, two seconds, how'd you do it?"

He pointed at a trampled bush and the path leading away from it.

"Oh." We started down the path.

Max's POV

We landed in a clearing and Arin automatically pointed to our left , "They went that way." I didn't doubt her. The brush was crushed and the trees were scratched as if something at barreled past it, I also found a brown feather. "Well, they sure aren't to worried about concealing their path."

"Maybe they want us to split up, be divided, it would make us easier to kill."

"It would. But why would they want to kill you?"

"'Cause we're human."

"Elves aren't like that, they don't want to kill somebody 'cause of their race, they aren't like the Nazis!"

"The Nazis killed people because of their religion."

"It's the same principle."

"We could be walking straight into a trap," I contemplated, "We probably are."

"Yeah, we probably are, but they got a member of your flock, what else are you going to do?"

"True."

We continued along the path even though we knew we were heading straight into a trap.


	19. Chapter 19 Interigation gone wrong

Iggy's POV

Dungeons. They're almost home sweet home to us. Almost. Espesially when they're in an unknown territory, surrounded by unknown people and animals, split off into different cells, and they're cold. But other than that, they're exactly like home sweet home.

My cell opened and someone came in, I assumed that they were there to question me but you know what they say, 'assume makes an ass out of you and me.' **(A/N I got that from Stephen King's 'Cell' book) **Enia said that her strategies for questioning have two possible outcomes; they'll either get so annoyed that they'll leave you alone or they'll beat you up, or kill you, I guess there are actually three. **(A/N The strategies are in one of the ealier chapters, I don't remember which one)**

"Why are you and your friends here?" asked an unknown voice, at least it wasn't Princey.

"The world may never know," I answered.

"Oh no," he groaned, "Not the Silverson Techniques."

"So they're known around here?"

"Duh. The Silversons are captured a lot, espesially Teemo, they always use 'em until we get so fed-up that we let them go."

"Why do they get captured so much?" I asked, seems like they should know better.

"'Caus they annoy the prince, and he's trying to prove something to them, we don't know what, he won't tell us. Hey! You're trying to stall, aren't you!"

"Not the brightest bulb in the box, are we?"

He sighed and I could tell that he was trying to get his temper under control. "We're gonna try this again. Why are you and your friends here?"

"The world may never know," I said again, it really was quite fun.

"Stop saying that!"

I hid a grin.

"Alright, let's try a different question. What's your name?"

"I know you are but what am I?"

"That's doesn't even make sense!"

"That's the point."

I heard a chair scrap across the floor and someone sit down in it three feet from me. "Fine, tell me one thing about you or your friends."

"Okay. I'm blind, I'm here with my friends, we're travling with Enia, Samik, Teemo, Arin, Onyx, Myrhh, Merry and Fred, we're not from around here, I'm stuck in this dungeon, I'm talking to you, they're on their way to get me and kick you ass-"

"Enough! I meant something I _don't_ already know."

"Well you didn't say that."

"Well it can be assumed."

"Well you know what they say, 'assume makes an ass out of you and me.' And what if it didn't occur to me? What if I was looking for loop holes?"

"Fine! Whatever! Tell me one thing I don't know!"

"You have a face."

"That's considered something I know."

"You don't bake. Bakers are supposed to be delicate, you're as far from delicate as can be."

"As a matter a fact I _do_ bake."

"Really? What do you bake? I bake cake. Super awesome quadruple chocolate cake."

"I make pies. Mainly apple pies but some others thrown in."

"Really? That's cool. I like apple pie, it's yummy."

"It is isn't? Hey! You're trying to stall again!"

"Give the man a prize," I said, "And I did tell you something that you didn't know, I told you that I baked chocolate cakes."

"Something that _matters_."

"Again, you never said that."

When he next spoke his voice was trembling with anger, "Just tell me - why the hell - you and your friends are here!"

"'Cause we want to be." Didn't see that one coming, did ya?

"Tell me the truth!"

"How would you know what's the truth or not, you can't read minds. Maybe I am telling the truth, how would you know that I'm possibly lying? Don't answer that, the answer is that you _don't_. You can't. There's no way for you to know, you'll just have to take my word for it."

I heard him stand up and walk out of the room.

**Me: That was way to much fun. I had to re-write the entire chapter 'cause somehow I got logged out but I was still on this page and it made me sad. Oh, and I'm going on vacation for the next twoish weeks, I don't think I'll be able to update. Ciao!**

**Samik: We think that's spelled right.**

**Me: Oh yeah, just to warn you. *cue weather room* Good evening ladies and gentlemen and welcome to the Weirdest Weather Report You'll Ever See! Tonight's forcast is cloudy with a chance of purple polka-doted dinosaurs. Don't forget your umbrellas! Thank you and have a good night!**


	20. Chapter 20 Where are we?

Nudge's POV

**Me: I'm not very good at Nudge rambles, Onyx is though, she's very good at them.**

Somebody really didn't want us in the elf realm. First they kid-nap Iggy, then Gazzy then me. I wonder if anybody else has gotten captured? Although it's not really my problem at the moment seeing as I'm tied up and blind-folded, sitting somewhere in the un-known. Seriously, what is this place's_ problem_? Most everybody here is insane, the roalty doesn't appear to be doing any actually ruling, they're just trying to force people into listening to them. Like Max sometimes does when we're being 'unreasonable.' But at least she doesn't use mind control, like Angel.

_I heard that, Nudge._

Angel?

_Who else? What's going on here? Why are we all kidnapped?_

No idea. What was the deal with going to wake up the government officials?

_I had a bad feeling._

Pssht, whatever. I tried to ignore her. Something hit the ground with a thump beside me, "Ow!"

"Gazzy?" I hissed.

"Who else? You get captured to?"

"Yeah."

"Anybody else?"

"Angel?"

"What?" How'd she get here?"

Now I know how Iggy feels, being blind all the time, it _sucked_.

"I donno."

"I'm right here, you know," Angel cut in, "Why don't you just ask me?"

"Alright," Gazzy huffed, "How'd you get captured?"

"After everybody left I followed you 'cause I didn't want to have to explain to them where everybody was. There was this weird light and then I was here. I was just walking along, trying to find you guys when this bag was pulled over my head and I ended up here."

"Do you know where here is?" I asked hopefully.

"Not really, everybody is really skilled at blocking their minds."

"Dang..."

I got a sharp kick to the head, "Shut up."

"Make me," I stuck out my tongue in the direction I hoped he was.

"You wanna gag?"

"No not really."

"Then shut the f*** up."

"Okay, okay, you don't have to be so rude about it."

"NOW!"

I shut up.


	21. Chapter 21 Princey is an idiot

**Me: Hm... what to do in this chapter, what to do... let's have an Iggy chapter!**

Iggy's POV

I shifted around uncomfortably in my cell, the cold stones were really starting to get to my. Would it kill them to give me some blankets or something? Jeez, how uncivilized can you get? You lock somebody up in a dank dark dungeon without telling them why, you barely give them any food, you send people down to hassle them _and _you expect them to tell you everything you want to know? Psht, idiots. The best why to get somebody to tell you something is to pamper and flatter them. Give them seven course meals, plush carpets, four-poster beds, silk sheets and anything else they might possibly want. Maybe then they'll tell you what you want to know, maybe. Natually when I heard somebody coming down the stairs I was hoping they were coming to give me everything I wanted. But they weren't, it was time for more interegation. "What are the weak points of the Water Castle?" Princey asked. He opened the door, came in and shut the door again

"What now?" I asked.

"The Water Castle, you idiot, what are its weak points?"

"First of all, when you want somebody to tell you something you don't go around insulting them. Second of all, what the hell are you talking about? What Water Castle?"

"We're in the Earth Kingdom now, there is one for Water, I want to know its f***ing weak points."

"You also don't swear at people who have information you want."

"So you do know then?" he sounded hopeful.

"I never said that."

"What? Yes you did."

"Did not. I was making a generalzation."

"So you don't know."

"I never said that either."

"But you also said that you never said that you did know."

"Correct. I never said if I actually knew or not I just said that I may or may not know."

"Would you shut up?"

"You were the one who asked." I grinned to myself, this guy really was an idiot. It's hard to believe that he'll be king one day.

"Do you or do you not know?"

"I might."

"I want a definitive answer."

"Okay then, no, I do not know."

Silence. Then the sound of him getting up and leaving and the door locking behind him. The silence afterwards was almost unbearable. I was left alone in darkness, without a sound, without a smell, without anything. Would it kill them to give me a CD-player or something? They probably don't even have CD-players here. I stood up and walked carefully towards where I thought the door was. I ran into could metal bars. From my collar I pulled my lock-pick set, idiots, they forgot to even search me.

**Me: I like short chatpers but then I don't like them so I'm going to add a long author's note about something random! Aren't you just so exited?**

**Samik: Yay...**

**Me: Shut up, you're usually _raving_ for an author's note.**

**Samik: Do not, I rave to be in stuff but you never listen to my wishes.**

**Me: I say maybe. Do any of you wonder why sometimes it appears that I am sending reviews to myself? Well I'm not, that's Onyx reviewing them, just thought I'd make that clear. Dammint, I'm out of things to say. Laters!**

**R&R?**


	22. Chapter 22 Planning to envade

**Me: Are you ready? I am about to grace you, my nonexistent readers, with knowledge no other human knows. The layout of Princey's castle. Use this information wisely. As in, use it to mount a coordinated attack on him. I hope you do. It would make me happy. I would reward you with food. Food is always a good incentive, right?**

**His castle is basically a maze. When you enter the foyer there are five different hallways. Ignore all but the center one, all the others eventually lead to random rooms and dead ends. The center hallway leads to the entrace hall and from there the throne room, prison, ect. ect. ect. And it's all labeled. I don't know exactly why, it's probably 'cause Princey's an idiot.**

**Princey: Shut up, Enia.**

**Me: Why are you here? Did I invite you to come and talk on my fanfiction? No. Go away, no onbe wants you here.**

**Princey: *leaves in a huff***

**Samik: Very nicely done, Enia. Your skills are most impressive.**

**Me: Thank you thank you. Now if I could only figure out how to gel my bags into a unicorn horn my life would be complete.**

**Samik: You'll figure it out eventually.**

**Me: Yep. And until then, one with the story!**

Fred's POV

It's hard to read while flying. Believe me, I've tried. It ended with me running into a tree. After that I kept my book in one of the many inside pockets of my jacket.

**Samik: Hey, Enia!**

**Me: What? What is so important that you must interuppt me after I've written only four sentences? If it's not a matter of life or death; I don't care!**

**Samik: I was wondering if I could write another chapter soon. :D**

**Me: ...We'll talk about this later. Later as in: WHEN I'M NOT IN THE MIDDLE OF WRITING SOMETHING!**

Samik, Enia, Onyx, and I set down just outside the outskirts of the Earth Kingdom Capitol. Enia immediatly sat down and sketched out a diagram. "Alright, people. I have a super duper awesome plan..."

I stopped listening. I would figure it out when the time came. "_I pulled Fred into the small side chamber that was..."_I read, then Enia pegged something at my head. I jumped, looking up at her and raising a hand to my head. "What?"

"Pay attention. What you're reading can't be that important."

"But I'm reading Purple Tractors."

"Why are you reading about yourself? And where did you get that? It's not published yet!"

"I have my ways," I answered as I put it back in my pocket. "Was it really necessary to throw a rock at my head? It hurt you know."

"Well I called your name about five times. I gave you a chance to respond, you didn't. So I had to resort to more drastic measures."

"Whatever. What do you want?"

"We've got an awesome plan for breaking Iggy out. We - me, Samik, and Onyx that is - will create a distraction. You will go in and break Iggy out."

"Why me?"

"Because you aren't know in the Earth Kingdom. We are. You'll be able to sneak in as a bus boy or something."

"Great."

"This is going to be awesome!" Samik grinned, "We'll be able to totally kick Princey's butt! I've haven't done that is so long! And we get to wreck some havoc! That's always fun. Bwa ha ha!"

"Stop laughing creepily, Samik," Enia told him, "Even though you're right, it will be totally awesome."

"Are we ready yet?" Onyx sighed, "Are you done yapping?"

"Yes we are," Enia said, "Let's head out."

**Me: Super Enia to the rescue! And Super Onyx! And Super Samik! And Super Fred! **

**Samik: So, Enia, can I write a chapter?**

**Me: I'll think about it; that's the only answer you're getting right now.**

**R&R?**


	23. Chapter 23 A nothing Chapter

**Me: I am turning complete and utter control of this story over to Samik because I really don't like this story any more and I'm tired of it. Let him do what he wants.**

**Samik: Sweet! Here we go! Wait, what happened last?**

**Me: Don't remember, we were going to save Iggy.**

**Samik: Alright, here we go.**

Samik's POV

(Alright, I have no idea what I'm going to do, let's just see what happens)

We sprinted down the hill and shot into the city. People looked at us strangly as we blasted past but we ignored them. It didn't matter what they thought, they weren't going to tell Princey on us. They liked us. Not they could even tell who we were, anyways. We went straight for the castle.

**Samik: Bored. Convo time.**

**Enia: Agreed. This story isn't really working out.**

**Samik: I've got an idea. Let's give these people a look into what we do. CONVERSATIONS IN POETRY FORM!**

**Enia: Hey! That's my line!**

**Samik: Too bad, **

**I beat you too it.**

**Enia**

**Mleh to you. **

**But here we go.**

**I'm going to use _my _line...**

**CONVERSATIONS IN POETRY FORM!**

**Samik:**

**I already said it!**

**You can't say it again!**

**Enia: **

**And your poetry sucks**

**so shut up and join.**

**We must work on your poetry skills!**

**They are a valuable asset to life!**

**Samik:**

**I don't care about my poetry skills.**

**It's not like I'm gonna be an actual poet.**

**Enia: **

**Still,**

**poetry is useful.**

**Samik: Fine.**

**So.**

**Spring Break is coming up, are you ready for fun.**

**Enia:**

**Well, duh.**

**I'm gonna get Black**

**and I'm gonna play it.**

**And i'm gonna get Windwaker**

**and I'm gonna play it.**

**And I'm gonna download Orcarina of Time**

**and I'm gonna play it **

**and it's gonna be amazing.**

**Samik:**

**Sound's like you're all ready.**

**What about me? **

**Am I a part of your plans.**

**Enia:**

**Duh,**

**why wouldn't you be?**

**Samik:**

**Donno, but oh well. **

**Here we go. **

**This convo is DONE!**

**Enia: And yes, we know that there was only one paragraph of story.**


	24. Chapter 24 The End

**Me: I am not even going to _think_ about what is happening, let's go!**

Enia's POV

We raced into the castle, flying at immense speeds. I blasted a guard out of the way and blew a cabinet up in his face. We kept going. We took a sharp left and skidded down a corner, Samik ran into a wall. I laughed hysterically, he made a face at me. We took another corner and ran down a flight of stairs. I could hear shouts behind us but they couldn't even remotely keep us with us. ha ha ha

Random explosion! Yay! The building was blown to bits! Enia used her awesome authoress powers and warp everybody out of there and bury all the memories of what happened deep down inside of them.

The End!

**Me: This wasn't going anywhere so I had to finish it somehow. Don't blame me. I'll put up another Max Ride fic soon that hopefully won't die. Thanks for sticking with this guys and I apologize once again for the super crappy ending.**


End file.
